L.O.N.

Line Of The Night:

LeBr.O.N. James — 31 points, 14 boards, 12 assists, 2 steals, 1 block

You can’t spell LeBron without L.O.N., and he’s proving why, with his second straight triple-double. This one got the Cavs a win, at Indiana.

Honorable Mention Of The Night:

Chris Bosh — 40 points, 5 boards, 5 assists, 1 steal, 1 block

Absolutely no one talks about Toronto, and for that matter Orlando, when it comes to Playoffs. Sure we’d like to see a healthy T.J. Ford back on the team, but Bosh wants the Great White North to be heard. They’ve been to the Playoffs, they’ve won a series, and this year they want more.

Manu Ginobili — 44 points, 4 assists, 3 boards, 1 steal

The actual factual L.O.N.nie winner, but we couldn’t resist the LeBr.O.N. gimmick. Over the past few years many people have wondered what type of numbers Ginobili would put up if he was the focal point of a team — now we know. He would ball. In the month of February he has averaged 25.9 ppg on 50.8% shooting, with two 40+ point games. Thursday night he even threw in the game-winning jump shot. The coupe is on Ma-nu, Gi-nobilis.

Worst Of The Night:

Knicks, 84, 76ers, 124

Yeah, that’s losing by a 40-spot! Extend Isiah! At one point ESPN.com’s scoreboard was not updating, and it looked like New York was winning the 4th quarter 19-0. It turned out to be a malfunction, but it WOULD NOT HAVE MATTERED. The Knicks would have still been down by 21!

Near Triple-Double Of The Night:

Chris Paul — 31 points, 11 assists, 9 steals, 5 boards

As the MVP chants rained down in the N.O., Paul stole the show in Jason Kidd’s Mavs debut.

Earl Watson — 15 points, 9 assists, 8 boards

This is a CLASSIC case of a bad player putting up big numbers on a bad team. We watched this game, and despite playing NBA point guard now for 7 years, he still makes a lot of middle school decisions. P.J. Carlesimo is definitely only enduring the Alien Head Era, not enjoying it.

Trade Part I Of The Night:

Cleveland gets:

Wally Szczerbiak
Delonte West
Ben Wallace
Joe Smith
2009 2nd Round Pick

Chicago gets:

Larry Hughes
Drew Gooden
Cedric Simmons
Shannon Brown

Seattle gets:

Donyell Marshall
Ira Newble
Adrian Griffin

This seems like a big mess. Trading for the sake of trading? As Kenny Smith pointed out on Inside The NBA last night, all the players Cleveland received have huge question marks. Sure, if each one works out perfectly, the Cavs will be in great shape. But if each guy plays like he has been, they’ll probably be worse off than before. Chicago and Seattle succeeded by getting out from underneath terrible contracts, and the Bulls probably ended up the single most valuable commodity, in Drew Gooden.

Trade Part II Of The Night:

Houston gets:

Bobby Jackson
Adam Haluska

Rights to Sergei Lishouk

Memphis gets:

Marcus Vinicius
Rights to Malick Badiane
Cash

New Orleans gets:

Bonzi Wells
Mike James

Thank you for facilitating, Memphis. Chris Wallace must have friends in high places, in either Houston or N.O. Or they just wanted to keep it a South Thang. This is simply a move to sure up a couple weak areas, for the stretch run. Mike James sort of is Bobby Jackson, so N.O. gets their money for nothing, and their chicks for free. Houston’s motivation was getting rid of Mike James’ contract… you know, they one they just game him prior to this season! This trade proves that was one of the stupidest signings ever.

Trade Part III Of The Night:

Houston gets:

Gerald Green

Minnesota gets:

Kirk Snyder
2nd Round Pick
Cash

Why not take a flier on Green? He can score, which he showed while he was in Boston. For some unknown reason, Minnesota never game him a chance, so he does seem to come with a “Buyer Beware” tag. The Rockets lose practically nothing though, so why not?

Trade Part IV Of The Night:

Denver gets:

Taurean Grean

Portland gets:

Von Wafer

No clue. Who cares? Every player with the last name Green had to be traded by league mandate? Philly missed the memo, keeping Willie? The L.O.N. C.E.O. and Resident Scientist do have a bet, though, as to whether Green will still be in the League in the couple years… so maybe this will affect that?

Trade Part V Of The Night:

Detroit gets:

Juan Dixon

Toronto gets:

Primoz Brezec

Nice for Detroit. Brezec was not playing for them, and they pick up a nice veteran back court guy in Dixon, who can shoot that rock. Guess Toronto just wanted front court depth. And they can never have enough European players!

Trade Part VI Of The Night:

San Antonio gets:

Kurt Thomas

Seattle gets:

Brent Barry
Francisco Elson
2009 1st Round pick

Yet ANOTHER guy goes back home, as Barry goes back to the place where he had his best years. However, the story of this is Kurt Thomas. Is there a better fit for San Antonio? He’ll slide right in, adding defense, toughness and a nice little jump shot. Most importantly, he adds crazy eyes!!!! Yes.

Forget Devin Harris, Marcus Williams=freed. 25 points, 4 boards, 4 assists, 2 steals, 1 block in his first start in the post-Jason Kidd era… Detroit has hit a rough patch coming out of the break, losing two in a row. They better take out Milwaukee tonight, before they go on the road to play Phoenix, Denver and Utah… If the Phoenix/LA and Boston/G-State games are any indication, this stretch run of the season is going to live up to the hype… Boom Dizzle at the buzzer — YES!!!!… Somebody done told D.J. Mbenga wrong. He thought Shaq’s Diner was closed? EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!!!!…

Line Of The Night:

Earl Watson — 26 points, 9 assists, 3 boards, 2 steals, 1 alien head

We hate on this guy so much, but we have to him give credit when credit is due. Watson has been on fire in February, and it’s even resulted in a few Sonics victories. Last night, they didn’t even have Kevin Durant, who was out with the flu, and won, albeit against fellow cellar-dwellar, Memphis.

Jason Kidd Of The Night:

What? You thought this was going to be about the trade?

LeBron James — 26 points, 13 boards, 11 assists, 2 steals

The King does not care who surrounds him, All-Stars, Cavs, whatever; he is putting up all-around stats regardless. However, the scoreboard does care, as the full stat sheet did not a win get. When you go from from Kidd and D-Wade to Larry Hughes and Ira Newble in your back court, the wins are tougher. One other thing that is immediately obvious when looking at a Cavs box score — Danny Ferry LOVES Rich Boy. Drew Gooden, Donyell Marshall, Daniel Gibson, Damon Jones and Dwayne Jones? THROW SOME D‘S ON THAT TEAM!

Near Jason Kidd Of The Night:

Oh, so you thought THIS one would be about the trade?

Marcus Camby — 13 boards, 11 points, 9 blocks, 3 assists, 3 steals

Camby gets copious amount of L.O.N. love, whether he’s beasting it, or J-Kidding it. This effort came in the game of the night, a 124-118 Denver victory over Boston, in K.G.’s return to the court. Camby stuffed the stat sheet, but the block that would have given him the full triple-double? EAT YOUR BREAKAST!!!!, c/o Paul Peezy.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Charlotte Bobcats, 65 vs. the San Antonio Spurs.

The Bobcats really used the All-Star break to recharge, re-energize, and come back for a strong stretch run! Um… not quite. For awhile it appeared both squads would be contraction eligible, but Old Man Finley turned it on and the Spurs at least managed 85. Put this game at the end of The Departed… dome shot, please.

Trade Of The Night:

Dallas Mavs get:

Jason Kidd
Antoine Wright
Malik Allen

Dirty Jerse Nets get:

Devin Harris
Desagana Diop
Trenton Hassell
Maurice Ager
Keith Van Horn
2008 First Round Pick
2010 First Round Pick
$3 million in cash

Finally. It’s done. We can move on. With all of the incessant coverage of this on-again-off-again trade, we won’t bore you with too much analysis. We’ll just say that in our eyes, this is just as questionable, scheme-wise, as the Shaq deal. And two more words: Erick Dampier. Oh yeah… and they still Dirk “Fold-up Chair” Nowitzki.

You Know When They Said That? When I Was Back Home Of The Night:

An interesting sub-plot of several of the recent NBA trades is the fact that players involved have been returning to the teams with which they started their NBA teams. Chris Webber is now back in Golden State, with even the same coach, in Don Nelson. Jason Kidd is back in Dallas, where he won Co-Rookie Of The Year (word to Grant Hill). These two both had volatile runs the first time around. Nellie knows C-Webb probably doesn’t have the juice any more to create a franchise-splitting rift, but there is no word of Toni Braxton’s whereabouts, and if she could possibly get herself involved in a Kidd/Nowitzki love triangle.

A couple of other guys returning to their NBA roots do not have major roles now, but definitely did way back when. Anthony Johnson will most likely continue his journeyman career following this stint with the Kings, but the last time he was in Sactown, 97-98, he was one of the most surprising rookies in the League, starting most of the year and averaging what is still a career-high for him, 29.4 minutes per game. Meanwhile, Keith Van Horn is returning to his Dirty Jerse stomping grounds, although it remains to be seen how much high-socked terror he will be able to unleash in the Izod Zone. But if you’re looking for some comfortable and, uh, soft clothes to wear… head to Jersey. We hear Van Horn and Vince Carter, AKA The Tissue Twins, are coming out with a new lounge wear line… or maybe they’ll be Victoria’s Secret “Pink” models!

The Boston/Denver game had another EAT YOUR BREAKFAST moment, when Carmelo went baseline and served breakfast for two to Big Baby Davis and Tony Allen!… Rajon Rondo, meanwhile, perhaps buying into his baby-face-ness, went smaaaaaaaaaaaaash time on some kid sitting court side, eating Dippin’ Dots. Elbow to the domepiece and the kid’s shoulder/elbow area. It makes us sick to see some spoiled brat sitting front row and not even paying attention to one of the better match-ups in the League… The Knicks turning point, perhaps? A heated exchange took place in the final regulation huddle of the Knicks/Wiz game, involving Q-Rich and Zach Randolph, while seemingly aimed at Nate Robinson. It worked, as they stopped Antonio Daniels’ final shot, and then kilt ‘em in OT…

14 NBA games!  At 6:11 PM Pacific, as the Suns and Warriors tipped off, 12 of those were going simultaneously!  A true NBA head’s dream.

Line Of The Night AKA Triple-Double Of The Night:

Lamar Odom — 16 boards, 10 assists, 10 points, 1 steal

When L-Eezy goes Oscar Robertson on ‘em, it embodies the pure essence of L.O.N.  He’s the official player of this enterprise, and we live for the versatility and overall excellence required for this statistical achievement.  Inspired.

Honorable Mention L.O.N.nie Of The Night:

Manu Ginobili — 46 points, 8 assists, 4 boards, 3 steals, 1 block on 15-20 shooting

The Chuckster’s favorite went LeBron James ON James’ Cavs, completely taking over in the 4th quarter;  dude was hotter than the Argentinian Tango.  Spurs win, on the road — it’s the Rodeo Show.  The West needs to invoke the “Pistons Rule” and put this man on the All-Star team.  He is surely penalized for being on such a good team and not getting a chance to routinely put up these types of numbers.  There are 12 better players in the West?  Are there 12 better players in the LEAGUE?!?!?

Beasts Of The Night:

Dwight Howard — 24 boards, 23 points, 3 assists, 2 blocks, 1 steal

The definition of.  Just one game after his coach, Stan Van Gundy, publicly called him out for his lack of effort on D and the boards, D-Ho put it DOWN on D and the boards!  Well, it was either that, or he is extremely P-O’ed that the NBA powers that be will not allow him to raise a goal to 12 feet during this weekend’s dunk contest.  Come on commish, drink some kool-aid and have a Soft Baked cookie!  Have some fun!

Emeka Okafor — 21 boards, 20 points, 5 blocks

Okafor joined his 2004 draft mate in 20/20 land last night, showing why they went 1-2 that year.

Triple-Double Part II Of The Night:

Carlos Boozer — 22 points, 11 boards, 10 assists, 5 steals

Iditarod’s first career Fat Lever came against the hapless Sonics.  Usually it’s the dime-drops that hold him down, but he had it all working tonight.  Maybe it was just Earl Watson’s aura rubbing off on him, as Alien Head had 14 assists!

Near Triple-Double Of The Night:

Andre Iguodala — 29 points, 8 boards, 8 assists, 2 steals

Quietly the 76ers are 23-30 and positioning themselves for a run at the Loser’s Bracket of this year’s NBA Playoffs.  Iggy is gonna start wanting some All-Star-type love if the Sixers are a playoff team.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Portland Trailblazers, 76 vs. the Dallas Mavericks

Wow.  Is any team looking forward to All-Star break more?  The rest of the L caught up to this early season juggernaut.  They need to regroup in a real way after limping into the All-Star break.

And how ’bout dem Mavs?  With a Jason Kidd deal seemingly all but completed, there had to be mixed emotions in that locker room.  But when two of the key components (Desagana Diop and Devean George) came out in played in the game, something seemed amiss.  Then word broke that Devean George (hold on — he’s still alive?  he’s still in the league?) has some sort of trade blocker that he pulled and the deal is off!  That would seem to be turmoil, friends.  After all, Jerry Stackhouse thought he was in store for a 30 day vacation (reports had him being waived by Dirty Jerse, waiting the mandatory month, and re-signing with the Cubans)!  Madness.  George put on a stellar performance, with 0 points on 0-11 shooting in 33 minutes, but the capos stepped up.  Dirk and the Jet rallied this team for a game during which no one would have faulted the guys for having their heads elsewhere.  A beat down ensued.

Are Ya’ll Gon’ Eh-vuh Fall Off? Of The Night:

Young Pistons:

Amir Johnson — 9 boards, 8 points, 7 blocks, 1 steal, 1 assist

Rodney Stuckey — 12 points, 5 assists, 3 boards

Jason Maxiell — 11 points, 11 boards, 2 blocks

The next generation, but they are here NOW.  This ain’t your momma’s 6-man rotation Pistons.  These cats is deep.  Most talented Pistons squad of the current contending run?

It’s Me, Bitches!!! Of The Night:

Steve Novak — 1 quarter, 7 minutes, 3 points, 2 shots, 1 board

3 points on 1 made basket — a buzzer-beater.  And it was the perfect salve for a nightmare 4th quarter, for the Rockets.  Up 14 heading into the final period, they couldn’t hit a damn thing.  Ron Artest went Jay-Z, Takeover, for the Kings, leading them all the way back to an apparent victory.  Then Novak happened.  89-87, Rockets win.  That’s 8 in a row, and 12 of the last 13.

We saw 5 technical foul shots taken, and 5 missed.  1 by Derek Fisher, 2 by Melo, 1 by Rashad McCants, and 1 by Steve Blake… Tiger Woods in the house for the Orlando/Denver game… Seen at tattoo parlor with Melo and AI, earlier in the day!  Ha… Shaq has officially moved from the home sky box to the road bench, in a suit.  Stay tuned for his debut… The Boom Dizzle step back J is so beautiful… There is absolutely NOTHING intimidating about Charlotte’s “LET’S GO CATS!” chant!  Except to the Hawks, we guess, who folded in the 4th like Dirk in Oakland… What a tough loss for the Clippers on a late offensive rebound tip by Antawn Jamison.  It was over Corey Maggette, so Carolina got a little getback on Duke…