L.O.N.

As seen on SLAMOnline.com.

Line Of The Night:

Dwyane Wade — 27 points, 4 steals, 2 boards, 2 assists

After starring in the pre-Olympic warm-up games, D-Wade had not had the same impact in the official competition.  But with gold at this fingertips, he was locked in from the moment he subbed in, clearly proving Miami could throw him in the 6th man role next year if they are in need of some extra hardware.  His D resulted in a bunch of breakaways throughout the game, and he had the outside shot working, making him unguardable.  Then in the fourth,  lost in the Doug Collins/Kobe Bryant lovefest, Wade put perhaps the final nail in the coffin, hitting a three to give Team USA a 111-104 lead with 2:08 remaining.  Bob Marley.

Worst Of The Night:

Hey Kobe… NEVER FOUL THE 3-POINT SHOOTER (1st quarter, 6:30)!

Hey Rudy… NEVER FOUL THE 3-POINT SHOOTER (4th quarter, 3:10)!  Especially if it leads to such an annoying celebration from the Kobster.  Any more replays of him putting his finger to his lips or of Coach K in general, and the L.O.N. offices would have been re-painted Spanish red and yellow with “La Marcha Real” playing in the background.

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

After spotting noted breakfast chef Rudy Fernandez on the perimeter, mid-way through the fourth quarter, The Kobster decided it was time to reward all of teammate Dwight Howard’s hard work with a complimentary breakfast, so he gambled and missed on a steal attempt.  Rudy took it baseline and BOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!  EAT YOUR BREAKFAST DWIGHT!!!!!!!  MAGDALENA AND CHURRO SPECIALS ALL DAY!

The Spanish J.R. Smith Of The Night:

Rudy Fernandez — 22 points, 2 assists, 2 boards, 1 steal, 1 breakfast served, 1 fade away three-pointer over on of the best individual defenders in the world (Prince)

The gold medal game was Rudy’s coming out party for real… except for the fact it happened in the middle of the night and maybe no one saw it.  He did all of his damage in only 17 minutes, creating highlight after highlight while keeping his team in the game.  And honestly, have you ever seen him, Rex Chapman and J.R. Smith in the same room at the same time?  Didn’t think so.

What Could Have Been Of The Night:

Argentina — 1 bronze medal

Carlos Delfino (and his eyeliner) dropped 20 on Lithuania to bring home a disappointing bronze medal for the Manu-less Argentinians.  After seeing the difficulty Spain gave Team USA, Manu’s ankle injury just minutes into the semi-final game is only underscored further as a pivotal moment.  What if he plays that whole game?  What if Jose Calderon is available for the final?  What if Pac decided to skip that weekend in Vegas?  We will never know.

Formal Apology Of The Night:

Juan Carlos Navarro — 18 points, 4 assists, 3 boards

After witnessing Mr. Navarro step up and ball out in Jose Calderon’s absence, L.O.N. would like to formally apologize to Mr. Navarro, his family, and his friends.  He never quite made it fully onto our radar this past NBA season, and as a result, we never launched an official “Free Juan Carlos Navarro” campaign, and now we’ve lost his talent to the either of Euroleague.  While it is definitely too little too late… FREE JUAN CARLOS NAVARRO!!!!  Now that he is battling Andre Barrett for playing time, maybe the campaign IS still necessary.

Olympics Hangover Of The Night:

During any other off-season, LeBron James would be celebrating the acquisition of point guard Mo Williams by the Cleveland Cavs management right about now.  After all, going from Delonte West, Boobie Gibson, Eric Snow and Damon Jones to Mo is a nice little upgrade, right?.  However, LeBron has been sharing the court with a bit of a different point guard crowd lately, and it will be an adjustment.  Sorry, Mo.

Double R Of The Night:

Ricky Rubio — 6 points, 6 boards, 3 assists, 3 steals

It has been a while since the Ruff Ryders had the streets on lock, but Ricky might be able to provide the Dean fam once last shot at glory.  Think of the marketing opportunities!  The And-1 Double R Edition, featuring Rubio highlights over Ruff Ryder tracks?  Europe would be a wrap.  They already have the start of a legit mix from the gold medal game alone, with the sick fast break no look to Pau and the Jason Kidd double-serve up — once on the perimeter and once on a break in which Ricky took on Kidd and LeBron.  And if we have to stomach the Euro killing the dollar, then they should have to deal with Drag-On and Eve.

Seriously though, while his deficiencies (fatigue, a milli deflected passes) showed as the game went on, let the L.O.N. co-signed Rubio for #1 campaign begin.

It was great to watch basketball without all of the constant commercials/timeout breaks/tv network crap the NBA forces on us.  Too bad we still had to deal with Mike Breen’s opinions… The Etching Strikes Back:  LeBron James’ “Gold Medal” shoe features Nike’s version of the plague… Spain’s turnovers must have been killing Jose Calderon on the bench.  He was in uniform, too, so you know he wanted to sneak out there…  At one point Tayshaun Prince faked a pass then hit a lay-up, showing more flash in that single play then he has in his entire NBA career.  And of course, Olympics replay highlights are pretty much non-existent, so it basically never happened!…  David Stern had a long day/night/something before this game.  He was in the crowd looking rough… And who was next to him in the purple shades?  Some sort of futuristic, secret service, alien?  Wild…  Navarro:  Spanish for “floater”…  Carlos:  Spanish for “runner”… Juan:  Spanish for “tear-drop”…  Really, Jason?…  Melo getting his Mateen Cleaves on was comedy.  You could probably catch him sleeping on the bench in Denver…

As seen on SLAMOnline.com.

Line Of The Night:

Luis Scola — 28 points, 11 boards, 2 steals, 2 blocks

Every single Houston Rocket needs to watch the tape of this game to appreciate what Scola can do.  He abused all types of varying USA defender’s, showcasing a vast array of post moves.  Give that man the rock, Rick Adelman!

Worst Of The Night:

Clocks in Argentina may still read 11:21 A.M.  At roughly that moment, Manu Ginobili — the de facto king of his country — dropped to floor clutching his ankle and the hopes of a nation were dashed.  Kids with crushed hoop dreams sobbed, and even the most stone-faced shed a tear.  It was enough to make a hard rock cry.  It wasn’t only Argentinians that were upset.  USA/Argentina was one of the potential marquee match-ups heading into the 2008 Olympics, so anybody that loved basketball had to be disappointed.   Argentina put up a good fight, keeping it within 8-10 for much of the 2nd quarter, but their undermanned squad could not get over that hump, perhaps marking the end of a memorable era in Argentinian hoops.  Quite possibly a whole ‘nother type of scenario if Manu had been around for the whole game, though.

13 Shots To The Dome Of The Night:

Carmelo Anthony — 21 points on 13-13 from the FT line, 4 boards, 1 steal, 1 block

While Melo was a horrid 3-14 from the field, including 2-8 from three, he got it done from the other line, looking at least a little bit like the guy that lead the team during Olympic qualifying.  Once Melo and the rest of his teammates went back to the lab at the half and figured out it is usually idea to shoot more 2’s than 3’s, especially when you are 6 of 20 from the outside, this game was a wrap.  And even though Mike Breen broke out his over-the-top self-righteous tone to criticize Melo for getting in Andres Nocioni’s face after a hard foul on Dwight Howard, the little skirmish actually seemed to break Team USA out of it’s malaise and get the guys fired up.  Game after game a new guy leads Team USA in scoring, which really serves to under score this group’s acceptance of the international team concept.

Conspiracy Theory Of The Night:

Jerry Colangelo runs USA Basketball.  His son, Bryan, runs the Toronto Raptors, who were locked into a lengthy insurance/legal battle with Spain’s Jorge Garbajosa after he played injured for Spain’s team against the organizations wishes.  Jose Calderon now plays for both the Raptors and Spain’s national team, Team USA’s last obstacle to the gold medal.  He was held out of the semi-final game by Toronto’s medical staff due to a partial tear in his abductor muscle.   Hmm… you make the call.  Spain pulled out the tough 91-86 win despite Calderon’s absence, as Lithuania’s offense sputtered towards the end.  If Calderon is out for the Finals though, it severely hurts their chances.

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

Spain’s Rudy Fernandez had already proven himself to be an athletic, NBA-ready player — just ask Portland, who signed him to a contract this off-season — but who knew he was an on-call chef?  When Rudy got word that Simas Jasaitis needed a little nourishment after hitting all those threes, he drove down the right side of the lane and broke out his specialty — breakfast.  Have some of these magdalenas and torrijas, Simas!  With a cup of cafe con leche!!!

Eat Your Breakfast Part II Of The Night:

Did all the Lithuanians skip the pre-game spread?  As it turns out, as the end of the third quarter approached, Lithuania’s Ksistof Lavrinovic was a little hungry too.  The ever-accomodating Pau Gasol wasted no time putting in an order with his man Rudy, then BOOSH!!!  Try these churros, Ksistof!  COMER SU DESAYUNO!!!

Young Moola Of The Night:

Ricky Rubio — 6 boards, 4 assists, 4 points, 1 steal

The line does not look all that impressive, but with Calderon out, Rubio stepped up and led his team to victory.  Last round we commented on how wild Double-R was compared to Calderon, but this time around Rubio was the calming force.  Back-up Raul Lopez made a lot of raggedy, ill-advised plays, while the young gun got the ball where it needed to be and made several key defensive and hustle plays.  That’s not to say he didn’t bring some flare to show — just recall the ridic one-handed, off-the-dribble oop he threw to Gasol with the score close, late.  He definitely has some flop in him, too, and an uncanny ability to always get in the way and force the refs to call fouls, ala Sam Cassell.  Bottomline, kid has inate instincts for the game, and yes, he’s only 17!  Young mooooo-la, baaaa-by!

Breaking news:  Jason Kidd misses a shot… FREE LINAS KLEIZA!!!… Any excuse (this time the basketball broadcast intro) to play Juelz Santana’s “The Second Coming” is alright with us… We constantly are thinking the patches on the shirts of NBC’s basketball announcing team are Marlboro logos.  How many Marlboro Miles for one of those joints?…  Really?  The Baltic Pippen?  Scottie gets no respect… Snapper Jones is either the most loyal cat in the game, or he’s locked into a Ras Kass-type contract with NBC.  He actually sounded forlorn as the Lithuania/Spain game started.  Either Bill Walton is like his coffee, or maybe Walton owns dude’s publishing!… Come on Pau, NEVER FOUL THE THREE POINT SHOOTER!  Momentum killer at the end of the third right after he had served up the most important meal of the day… Chris Paul had this to say following the game:  “Reporters, I’m ill, not sick/And my finish ok but my spin-move sick/Yea my dimes sick/Yea my Jordans sick/And my steals thick/I’m it/A goldie, a goldie, a goldie, a goldie, C-P-3″…

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Line Of The Night:

Kobe Bryant — 25 points, 5 boards, 1 assist, 1 steal, 1 block

The defensive stopper of Team USA has mostly stayed in the background, offensively, as part of the national team.  Against Australia, he did not have much of a challenge on D, so either he was bored, the bigger stage of the medal round was too much for him to resist, or stuntin’ is simply too much of a habit, so he had to put it in the air.  The Kobester finally busted out the entire offensive arsenal — dunks, long-range threes, acrobatic and-1’s — in the quarterfinals. Maybe he is looking for another M.V.P. award for the mantle?  The defining play of the game came during a back-breaking 14-0 run to start the 3rd quarter.  Kobe hit a ridiculous and-1, while Aussie star player Andrew Bogut limped off the court with an ankle injury.  Welcome to the semis, USA.

Worst Of The Night:

Only one out of the four games in the first round of medal play was competitive, Argentina’s 2-point win over Greece (and that was ver refreshing to see).  Step your game up, world!  That means there is about 5 teams, and then everybody else.  Ya’ll need to give us some more, in 2012, in London.  We have a feeling China’s rise to prominence is inevitable — a billi, a billi, a billi, a billi… they’re ok, but their guards sick!  Give them some guard play, and it’s on.

Same Ish Different Toilet Of The Night:

Jose Calderon must feel like he’s back in the NBA.  In Spain’s quarterfinal match-up vs. Croatia, Calderon found himself sitting the bench as the game started, with young phenom Ricky Rubio starting at the point.  It closely mirrors last year’s T-Dot situation with T.J. Ford, as Rubio — like Ford — is the more flamboyant of the pair.  This showed during Spain’s 72-59 win.  In the midst of a a late Croatia run, Double-R made a couple questionable decisions, and was immediately pulled for Calderon, who came in as a calming influence.  During this sequence the diminuitive Calderon even executed a successful post-up, looking like an old school Mark Jackson!  Only in the international game… that’s as exclusive as an Olympics-only Nike colorway!

Semi-final Preview Of The Night:

The Redeem Team will face perhaps their toughest challenge of the Olympics, in Argentina.  The Argentines go for quality over quantity.  The team essentially only plays 6 guys, but 5 of those are in NBA rotations, and all have serious international experience.  While there is some chance of a let down, having been pushed to the brink by Greece in a heated, rivalry-type re-match, don’t count on it.  Every single player on the squad is tough, emotional and fiery.  Team USA better have their minds right from the start, or they will be crying BECAUSE of Argentina.

Still loving the Marvin Gaye/Team USA Nike ad… Has Australia always been green and yellow?  Or are they the Atlanta Hawks of the international scene, changing colors whenever they want, with little rhyme or reason?… At least Chris Kaman openly played for Germany.  Andre Miller changed his name to “C.J. Bruton” in order to run with the Aussies…  Who gave Michael Phelps his Hip-Hop gear starter kit before he visited Team USA’s locker room?  You gotta rock the FITTED hat, kid, not the adjustable!…  Jason Kidd remains a perfect 100% from the field (4-4).  Now who can’t shoot?…

Forget the Olympics… forget perhaps the most-watched single game in international history… the NBA on NBC music is back!  Hot ish!

Line Of The Night:

Dwyane Wade — 19 points, 2 assists, 2 steals

That’s 19 points on 100% shooting.  100%!  D-Wade follows up his star turn in the Olympic warm-ups with another brilliant performance, shooting a perfect 7-7 from the field and 5-5 from the free throw line.

Worst Of The Night:

The global domination of Nike’s laser etching.  It started out innocently enough, used in shoe designs for Kobe and LeBron, a few years back.  Eventually it even spread to the highest profile of Nike lines — Jordans.  Now?  Both Team USA and Team China featured the etching on their uniforms and warm-ups!  ENOUGH.  Dead it.

Star Of The Night:

LeBron James — 18 points, 6 boards, 3 assists, 3 blocks, 1 steal

We gave D-Wade and his cleanly shaved dome the L.O.N.nie, but the highlight reels for the game were supplied by LeBron.  This entire experience is looking like the coronation of King James as King Of The Basketball World, and he showed why in the team’s first game.  A TWO-HANDED BLOCK/CATCH?  A couple more spectacular blocks… alley-oop after alley-oop… LeBron is the face of the so-called Redeem Team and is anxious to eliminate “LeBronze” from his nickname portfolio.

Hometown Hero Of The Night:

Yao Ming — 13 points, 10 boards, 3 blocks, 1 assist

Yao Ming has the weight of billions on his shoulders, serving as the China’s face of these Olympic games.  He served as the flag-bearer during the Opening Ceremonies (off the chain, by the way) and provided one of the enduring moments of the entire Games, as he walked in with a little 9 year-old (making Yao look cartoonishly tall) that survived the recent tragic Sichuan Earthquake, saving two of his classmates in the process.  He’s the most famous athlete in the country leading an under-manned team in what may be the most popular sport in the country.  On top of that, he is fresh off a stress fractured foot that put his Olympics appearance in doubt.

And what?  Yao did not have a great statistical game against the U.S., but he and his mates put up a decent fight, and delighted the electric home crowd.  He came out of the gate firing, nailing a three, and attempting a Globetrotter-ish two-handed, over-the-head, no-look pass, early.  Yao was clearly fired up, showing perhaps more emotion than he has in his entire NBA career to date.  He stayed emotionally involved throughout, celebrating and supporting his teammates even as his country trailed big.  We praise him here, but he would tell you he is only performing his expected duty.

Presidential Ish, George Bush Of The Night:

In tune with his desire to take full advantage of all Presidential perks, G-Dub has been everywhere at the Olympics, including Team USA’s opening match-up against Team China.  He was seen in the hallway as part of the team huddle, looking clearly uncomfortable and out of his element, and then in the stands getting an Omega-1 Death Stare from First Lady Laura Bush.  His forte seems to be his rapport with any and all female athletes (tips from the preceding President, perhaps?).  He participated in a little beach volleyball with Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh, and then got a big kick out of waving to the women’s hoops squad.  World leadership at work.

Gold Medal In Advertising Of The Night:

The ad execs have brought their gold medal game to the Olympics so far and the basketball-specific ads have been especially top-notch.  Nike is airing a spot combining a couple classics that hope to an inspire a new classic.  In 1983, Marvin Gaye performed what is widely regarded as the greatest rendition of the Star Spangled Banner ever.  Clips of this performance are combined with shots of the USA basketball preparing for their gold medal run, and the iconic “Just Do It” tagline is shown at the end — great.

Coke came up with a concept centered around arguably the two largest figures in the game — Yao Ming and LeBron James.  They enter an arena as adversaries, attempting to one-up each other with national flavor after national flavor, before finally realizing that a common ground — sweet and delicious Coke — can bring them together.  Gold medals all-around.

Doug Collins saying slippage over-and-over again makes us uncomfortable… Who invited Craig Sager, and who let him wear “normal” clothes?… Thanks for another screw-up Time Warner.  The Los Angeles-area Time Warner service does NOT feature the NBC Basketball Channel which is airing EVERY Olympic basketball game.  Thanks again… Meeelllloooo not even close to his goal of 10 boards, only bringing down 4…. Deron Williams looking like Common during the Opening Ceremonies, with the beard and the hat… Tayshaun looked truly amazed walking into the Bird’s Nest… Manu looked 10 years younger during the O.C., and then 10 years OLDER after Argentina lost it’s first game in a battle vs. Lithuania…