L.O.N.

As seen on SLAMOnline:

Line Of The Night:

Ray Allen — 35 points, 2 boards, 2 assists

The Ray Allen jump shot is still such a beautiful sight, event after all these years.  The Ceatles needed every last one of them against the Pacers, as this season’s giant killers almost struck again, before falling in OT.

Beast Of The Night:

Amare Stoudemire — 22 points, 20 boards, 2 assists

The Suns used this effort to tough out a 2 point win over the Jazz.  Isn’t there a whole lotta complaining and bickering in Phoenix for a team that really isn’t in that bad of shape?

Kevin Garnett — 20 boards, 17 points, 5 steals, 4 assists, 1 block

One other note on the Boston OT win.  Why was the Indiana offense run through Rasho Nesterovic during OT?  Give it to Granger, already.

Near Fat Lever Of The Night:

Vince Carter — 14 points, 11 boards, 8 assists, 2 steals

This versatile Vinsanity voyage vaulted the Nets to victory over the Sixers.  With a winning record about a fourth of the way into the season… dare we mention the “P” word for Dirty Jerse?

Near Beast Of The Night:

Marcus Camby — 19 boards, 7 blocks, 3 assists, 2 steals

How a coach on a bad team that is going nowhere can survive a completely uninspired blowout loss at home to the Clippers is beyond us, in this day and age of the light speed spinning coaching carousel.  But as of the writing of this, Randy Wittman remains the captain of this long past sunken ship.  (Update:  Wittman out, Kevin McHale takes over).  In related news, a bit of a terrible team round robin tourney took place, with the Clip Joint visiting Memphis Friday, followed by Minnesota on Saturday.  We needed a Memphis/Minnesota matchup to truly set things off, but with a little middle school geometry, we can crown Minnesota as the second worst team in the West.  Congratulations.

David Lee — 19 boards, 12 points, 3 assists

Must be the new hairdo.  We’ll call it the fratboy mohawk.  Lee and the Knicks mauled the Pistons on Sunday, right from jump street.  Blame Iverson or Coach Curry?  The coach does not look like a good fit, to us, so far.  And his abrasive (although often true) interview comments, may not work well, for long.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Charlotte Bobcats — 74 points vs. Cleveland

The Cavs’ absolutely smothering D was on display, highlighted by 10 blocks, including one of LeBron’s now patented from-behind-layup blocks on Raymond Felton.  Cleveland has now won 8 straight games, all by double digits.  They are “in their bag”, currently, as Freeway might tell you.

Rookie Of The Night:

Russell Westbrook — 30 points, 7 boards, 2 assists, 2 steals

Ok, dude is officially freed and can officially get it done on the NBA level, although he does still need to figure out how to reign it in a bit, out there.  While the Outlaws still lost to the Heat, it was only by 6, and almost has to count for something with a team this bad.  Maybe if Westbrook had lived up to his supposed defensive rep, and held D-Wade to less than 38, they might have actually pulled one out.

Interview Of The Night:

David Duchovny was interviewed at halftime of Sunday’s Knicks/Pistons game as part of a segment called “Gimme A Minute with Jill Martin”.  Pure comedy.  First, she messes up the air date when mentioning the season finale of his show, Californication.  No, wait, back up.  FIRST, there are the litany of “I bet he would like a minute with Jill Martin” jokes, given his sex addict status.  But we’ll let you fill in your own punchline with that situation.  Second, she asks if the show might move to a New York location, to which he politely replies, “It’s hard to shoot a show called Californication in New York.”  Awesome.  She doesn’t even bat an eye, though, before mentioning he used to be a “balla”… sounding completely ridiculous.  And just to add to the “what in the hell is going here?” factor, a wheelchair basketball game is going on in the background!  Amazing.

Bobby Brown with the rare 360 wrong-hand lay-up.  Interesting…

As seen on SLAMOnline:

Line Of The Night:

The TNT production truck for the Denver/Cleveland game.

As the 3rd quarter began in last night’s game, a miracle of miracles occurred — Reggie Miller’s mic was cut off!  It was short-lived, and the words of the Czar were also lost in the collateral damage, but it was a glorious time nonetheless.  Praise Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Jah, Pac and the Ruler Zig Zag Zig Allah.

Near Fat Lever Of The Night:

LeBron James — 22 points, 11 assists, 8 boards, 3 steals

But it was all about the D, son.  Word is that at halftime, Bron was walking around singing: “Give me a ‘Lo lockdown, a ‘Lo lockdown, gimme a ‘Lo lock down, you looooose”.  And that’s what happened.  Life was very difficult for Melo in the second half and the Cavs got a rare (for the Melo/Bron Era) win over the Nuggets.

Near Beast Of The Night:

Erick Dampier — 18 boards, 16 points, 3 blocks, 1 assist, 1 steal

Nice little stat line from Damp, but the ship be sinking in Dallas, as they lost to the Chi and fell to 2-6.  FREE GERALD GREEN!

Andris Biedrins — 19 boards, 17 points, 2 assists, 1 steal, 1 block

Biedrins has been the highlight of an otherwise bleak season for G-State.  They lost this one to the Pistons, but your boy is starting to look like a nice all-around player.  What they really need to do is go ahead and ship Al Harrington so they can add another legit guy to their rotation.

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

Hey Jason Maxiell — have some of this AZUBUIKE BACON!  EAT YOUR BREAKFAST, SON!  Courtesy of Head Chef Kelenna Azubuike.

NBA-Tinged Lyric Of The Night:

“‘Cause I was running game like Larry to a Bird who could score a lot of points while she dribbles on my balls ’cause she go hard for the green like Celtics”

That’s from 88-Keys’ “Ho’ Is Short For Honey” off his The Death Of Adam album.  It’s a solid album, but the theme/storyline he tried to go with does not add much, and probably detracts.  “Stay Up” feat. Kanye is the joint, though.

Matt Barnes, Rafter Alston and Steve Nash suspended for their roles in Wednesday night’s dust up.  Nash?  All he did was get abused twice by McGradles… Best ticket package around league?  Detroit’s 5-game “Fiverson Package”.  Get it?  Awesome… That was a garbage call/ejection on Kenyon.  Pure reputation.  Where’s the support Kenny and Chuck?  What did Kenyon do, exactly, on the last play?  Pure flop… OMG, if Will Bynum had completed that dunk on Turiaf…
Leandro Barbosa’s mother passed, and he will miss several games while he travels to Brazil.  Keep your head up, playa…