L.O.N.

Line Of The Night:

Kobe Bryant — 31 points, 7 boards, 6 assists, 3 steals, 2 blocks

Sick, sick, sick. The most-likely MVP did it all, as the Lakers pulled out the brooms on the Nuggets. A lot of focus was placed on the mess that is the Denver Nuggets, but is it possible the Lakers are simply really, really good?

Either way, put a fork in the Nuggets. Did this series show their true spirit? Or was it an aberration? A.I. seemed sour and cranky for the whole series, while Melo was almost the complete opposite… seemingly too relaxed. The one positive for them may be J.R. Smith’s series. He seemed focused and stepped it up on the big stage. Can he transfer that to an 82-game season, though? We just hope he keeps launching from 28 feet!

Beast Of The Night:

Dwight Howard — 21 boards, 21 points, 3 blocks, 2 assists

It took them 5 games to the Lakers’ 4, but chronologically, this effort from Superman made the Magic the first team to advance to the second round, as they knocked off the Raptors. They can now sit back and watch the Pistons struggle to knock off the Sixers for at least 2 more games. As for the Raptors? Let the “Fire Sam Mitchell” chants rain down. This team “talented” their way into the Playoffs, never really figuring out their identity. With the roster pieces they have, and no clear problem to point the finger at, they should have been more competitive than they showed in this serie.

Johnson And Smith Of The Night:

Joe Johnson — 35 points, 6 assists, 1 board

Josh Smith — 28 points, 7 blocks, 6 boards, 2 steals, 2 assists

ALL of the 4th quarter points for the A-T-Liens? How do the supposedly defensive-minded Celtics give up 32 points in the 4th, and all of them by only 2 players? Seems like Doc gets some blame for this. He doubled Joe late, but it should have come earlier. And in a separate mistake, why was he not going offense/defense, consistently, at point guard? Sam mad a great offensive play when he was in there… then he got benched.

Josh Smith is about to superstar this league, by the way.

You Reach, I Teach Of The Night:

Whatever Joe Johnson did to Leon Powe last night… it is illegal in 17 states. Does he have a Rasheed Wallace mentality? Is he the type of guy that just does not want to be the superstar every night, and would rather fit in with the team?

The Mailroom Supervisor’s Honey Of The Night: 

Chris Webber — The MRSV says: “He looks nice.  Welcome to the team!”

Line Of The Night:

LeBron James — 34 points, 12 boards, 7 assists, 2 steals

What Hubie “Knowledge” Brown wants, he gets. Pre-game, Brown said LeBron needed to approach a triple-double for the Cavs to win this one. While he was 1 assist shy of official L.O.N. Near Triple-Double status, he was fa sho in the ballpark. Result? Cavs win, as Delonte West nailed a corner 3 in the waning seconds, assisted by The King, of course.

Near Triple-Double Of The Night:

Boris Diaw — 20 points, 10 boards, 8 assists, 2 blocks

This (inserting Diaw into the starting lineup) was either a great coaching move by Mike D’Antoni, or simply a mental let down game for the Spiddurs. Game 5, back in San Anton, will clarify that. Regardless of whether or not it was a great move, or simply a move mandated by Grant Hill’s balky groin, it may be too little too late. The Spurs need to close this thing out in Game 5, though, or the Suns will enter back into official Red Giant status.

The Mailroom Supervisor’s Honey Of The Night:

And the H.O.N.nie goes to… Tayshaun Prince. “He’s on fire!”, says the MRSV. Yes, indeed. It was a good day for the MRSV, as her Pistons looked like they had their act together, at least in the 2nd half. Give the ball to Tayshaun! He seems to be their best offensive player, right now.

Straight Shots To The Dome Of The Night:

There were two Playoff-type flagrant fouls committed on Sunday, one by a superstar, and one on a superstar. During the first game of the day, the much hyped LeBron James vs. DeShawn Stevenson match-up was racheted up to yet another level, when DeShawn flagranted Bron-Bron. On a drive to the basket, it appeared DeShawn swung wildly at James’ head, knocking his headband off, and completely missing the ball. The Cavs were upset, and LeBron even mentioned, post-game, “If we was on the park, something definitely would have escalated”. Looking at the replays though, we are not sure of Stevenson’s intent. His play could easily be interpreted as a swipe at the ball that just missed, but the background between the two has people assuming the worst.

Later in the day, we had ourselves a TRUE flagrant. Late in yet another beat down at the hands of New Orleans, Jason Kidd let out all his frustrations, essentially palming Jannero Pargo’s head in the midst of a lay-up, and throwing him to the ground. Flagrant 2, ejection. Now THAT was gangsta.

In The Studio Of The Night:

Chris Webber is keeping it all the way real as the newest member of the best basketball show on TV, Inside The NBA. This would seem to be a “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” type situation, but with Knicks GM rumors swirling around Kenny Smith, maybe TNT is simply covering their bases. In his first night, C-Webb proved himself very capable, dropping relevant behind-the-scenes info on the Pistons, and even throwing most of the Mavs roster under the bus, claiming he would only want to go to war with two Mavs — Jason Kidd and Jerry Stackhouse. If they lose the Jet they will suffer on the X’s and O’s side of things, but they will be gaining a guy that is apparently not afraid to speak his mind. The old guard did not miss a chance to haze the studio rook, either, ending the night with funny jab at Webber’s infamous timeout situation in college.

Sam Vincent fired in Charlotte. Larry Brown waiting in the wings?… Hedo Turkoglu wins the “Most Improved Player” Award. Well-deserved… Pat Riley stepping down (again) as Heat head coach…

Line Of The Night:

Chris Bosh — 39 points, 15 boards, 2 assists, 1 steal

Bosh upped his superstar credentials with this performance, but the Raptors as a whole cannot seem to put it all together in the same game. If T.J. Ford plays well, Jose Calderon does not. If Jamario Moon plays well, Anthony Parker misses every shot. If Andrea Bargnani has it all going… oh, wait, that never happens any more. Is it coaching? Let the question be a statement.

Worst Of The Night:

Following Denver’s 102-84 loss in Game 3 of their series with the Lakers, we were all set to get on here and rip the hell out of Melo and his squadron. Well, he beat us to the punch:

“I’m not blaming anyone. I’m not pointing the fingers at nobody. I didn’t play worth a [expletive] tonight, and I can accept that. But as a competitor, there’s no way that I should lay down and quit and lay down on my team like we did tonight. You could just sense it,” Anthony said. “I’m saying ‘we,’ because I’m part of this, too. I’m saying I quit. We all just gave up.”

Wow. Seeing a talented Nuggets team show no heart at their first Playoff home game was one thing, but it was compounded by the Rockets performance later in the night. Maybe the Nuggets should switch their teams colors to red, white and blue — that is the only uni Melo seems to shine in, these days.

Of course, this may just be a case of underestimating the Lakers. We are starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, the Lake Show is actually ballerific (and acting like it’s all terrific).

Near Triple-Double Of The Night:

Dwight Howard — 19 points, 16 boards, 8 blocks, 3 assists, 1 steal

Right here, right now — Magic 3-1 over T-Dot and Sixers 2-1 over Detroit Basketball. This is jumping waaaay ahead, but does that mean we are now anticipating a Magic/Celtics Conference Finals? Or do the Pistons simply know drama better than TNT?

McGradles — 23 points, 10 boards, 8 assists, 1 steal, 1 block

He did everything well… except shoot. If he gets a decent percentage from the field — or Rafer — the Rockets shock world, and take two games in Houston. These two teams are so evenly matched, even when it appears that one team has the clear talent advantage. It is a shame for Houston that Skip missed the first two games. Based on what we have seen now, it might have been a whole ‘nother type of series with him manning the point from the get green.

Near Beast Of The Night:

Mehmet Okur — 18 boards, 14 points, 1 block, 1 steal

While probably known more for his long-range shot than for his grittiness, it was the latter that was key for Utah on Saturday. With the Jazz up two, late, Deron Williams MISSED two free throws, seemingly giving the Rockets new life. Memo shut that window just as fast as it opened, though, snagging (well, Rick Adelman might describe it more as “pushing my guy out of the way, then grabbing”) the offensive rebound. Game time. Never forget — the Pistons have not won a title since Memo left. The Jazz have not won one with him. Sounds like purgatory.

Rookie Of The Night:

Al Horford — 17 points, 14 boards, 6 assists, 1 steal

It is official — as Horford goes, so goes the Hawks. Of all the options on the team, it is obvious after Game 3 that he is their leader, and their heart & soul — their K.G. Hittin’ clutch J’s to put the game away, then taunting Paul Peezy? A very impressive rookie playoff breakout party.

Line Of The Night:

Kevin Martin — 48 points, 6 boards, 1 assist

We here at L.O.N. have secretly wanted the Kings to go on a crazy winning streak, just to make the West all that more interesting.  And in reality, they’ve put together some decent wins this year when healthy.  However, losing to the T-Wolves at homes ruins all of this potential dreams.  Kevin Martin tried to get buck wild on ‘em and lead his team back, but even 19 points, himself, in the 4th, was not enough.

It’s Smaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash Tiiiiiime Of The Night:

Ahh yes, it’s that time of year, heads and headettes.  It’s that time when teams just simply give up, for any and all reason.  Down by 10 at the half?  Done.  Last game of a road trip?  Done.  7 episodes of Gossip Girl on your DVR?  Done.

Philly 117, Seattle 83

Philly has turned into the rare young team that will actually put you away.  They won on the road in Phoenix recently, and then they do this, to Seattle.  Of course, Seattle is the COMMON young team that will fold faster than Dirk Nowitzki in a laundromat.

Golden State 134, Miami 99

G-State is definitely not known as a team that will put you away, but when you’re the Heat, and you are without D-Wade, and your coach is talking about taking a recruiting vacation, hitting South Beach is really more important than any gosh darn ball game.

Boston 116, Chi-Whuuuuut 93

The score doesn’t seem as big as the others, but this one was practically over before it started.  Chi actually won a game Thursday night, against a good team, so they were probably walking a little too high, today.  Plus they had to travel and Boston just does not play around.  ESPN took the opportunity to show Sam Cassell with a blank look on his face for about 70% of the broadcast.  If we have to see one more shot of that brown suit coat… damn.

LA Lakers 119 ,  LA Clip Joint 82

Wow.  A heated rivalry just a couple years ago (remember when Darius Miles blew out the afro for the match-up?  Then later Shaun Livingston carried on the tradition?  Ahh, the memories), has now become a joke.  Kobe didn’t even hit 2nd gear for this one.  As Ralph Lawler would say… yikes.

Rookie Of The Night:

Julian Wright — 20 points, 8 boards, 2 steals, 1 assist

As if the Hornets needed any more help.  This rook is starting to find his place, and his athleticism is definitely translating to the NBA game, as he’s had several highlight-type plays recently.

Can we get a Hubie Brown, Ralph Lawler, Marv Alber and Doug Collins “Mt. Rushmore” t-shirt?… Spurs’ win streak is snapped, with a road loss to Denver in the 2nd of a back-to-back… Bottom line — sort of a boring night in the NBA…

Line Of The Night:

Monta Ellis — 30 points, 6 boards, 4 assists, 1 steal

An L.O.N. Revolutionary, and definitely one of our favorite players to watch in the L. Boom Dizzle and Captain Jack may be the heart and soul of this Warriors squad, but Ellis is that third consistent piece that keeps the scoreboard lit up. After this win vs. Seattle, they now have their eyes on the 7th seed and the Yao-less Rockets.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Washington Wiz 69 points vs. Houston Rockets

Just one night after we gave some serious praise to the Wiz, they go out and betray us like this. Damn, homeys. It was the perfect storm of bad-timing for the Wiz, though. You knew a let down was coming after their last second victory the night before, and on the other side, with the news of Yao’s injury, the Rockets were on some serious “let’s all band together” type-ish. The result was a People’s Elbow style smackdown.

Rookie Of The Night:

Spencer Hawes — 16 points, 2 assists, 2 boards, 1 steal

With the Kings getting molly-whopped in Wade County, Hawes received a little extra run. Who knew he was a 7-foot spot-up jump-shooting guard? Maybe it’s just the tip of the iceberg, and not his full game, but we’ve seen him running off screens and firing corner 3’s more often then any legit post-up game. Not sure what planet we were on last year, but we were under the impression he was more of a traditional center.

Pure Glory Of The Night:

5.9 left on the clock. Score-tied. Michael Redd receives the inbounds pass. He dribbles down and crosses half-court. He pulls up, 4-feet behind the three-point line, in Zoolander’s eye… BANG! The crowd goes wild! Insanity ensues!

Is there anything better than a game-winning shot in basketball? Milwaukee is a lowly team in the Eastern Conference in the middle of a forgettable season. But when the LeBron-led Cavs come in, and the home squad beats them at the buzzer behind a shot from their star player? Unforgettable. Raw elation all around, as the crowd went wild, the announcers went wild, and the players and coaches went wild. They will remember this moment for a long time. Where Amazing Happens.

Line Of The Night:

DeShawn Stevenson — 33 points, 3 boards, 1 assist, 1 steal

We don’t know if it’s the coach, the spirit of the players, our just some sort of magic, but the Wizards might the be toughest, scrappiest team in the L. Their star player, Gilbert Arenas, has missed most of the season. Their next best, Caron Butler, his missed double-digit games. Yet and still, they are out there every game, competing, and have close to a .500 record. Last night, on the strength of Stevenson’s career night — most points he’s ever scored as well as his first game-winning shot — the Wiz knocked off Western Conference powerhouse, New Orleans. They might not have the most talent, but they are going to battle you fa sho doe.

Near Triple-Double Of The Night:

Jason Kidd — 11 points, 9 boards, 8 assists, 4 steals

New team, same old tricks. He’s doing his part, but we’re still not really convinced as to how much better he actually makes the Mavs. They won this one, though, 102-94 over <R. Kelly voice> Chiiiiiiiiii-whuuut? </R. Kelly singing voice>

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Atlanta Hawks 74 points vs. San Antonio Spurs

And it was the SPURS that only scored 5 points in the first quarter! This Hawks team is very talented, but still has a long way to go before they figure out the oh-so elusive skill of “knowing how to win”. Kurt Thomas knows how to win, and win he did in his Spurs debut. 9 boards in 13 minutes, young’ns.

LA Clip Joint 76 points vs. Boston Ceatles

This was the absolute worst we have seen a team play this year. It seemed like 90% of the time, one Clipper would just dribble the shot clock away and someone would have to force a shot. On one possession, Tim Thomas had the ball and was looking to pass into the post. It appeared the other guys were not running the play correctly, and Thomas appeared extremely frustrated, motioning vehemently at his teammates. Eventually he chased the ball down in a corner, and hit a shot from BEHIND the backboard, as the clock expired, and fumed his way back down the court! You know it’s bad when Tim Thomas has to be the one to get on his teammates!

Injury Of The Night:

Yao Ming is set to miss the rest of the season, due to a stress fracture in his left foot. This news comes at a terrible time, with the Rockets playing the best they have all year and riding a 12-game winning streak. Ouch, ouch, ouch. You would think this is great news for the other Western Conference teams on the Playoff Bubble — G-State and Denver — as it seems unlikely the T-Macs could hold onto the 6th spot. Stranger things have happened, though. Maybe Coach Adelman can just place the recently acquired Gerald Green in the low-post and have him jump straight up and down, in an attempt to fulfill their center needs?. FREE DIKEMBE!

The Pistons Being The Pistons Of The Night:

In Chauncey Billups return to Denver, the Pistons showed exactly what they are all about. In many situations like this, the individual will try to get his shine on for his homecoming, but not the team-orientated Detroit Pistons. Billups, Rip Hamilton and Tayshaun all went out and scored exactly 20 points, and the Pistons grinded out another road win. Pistons Power.

The Troy Murphy pump fake! Recognize. And maybe realize…

Line Of The Night:

LeBr.O.N. James — 31 points, 14 boards, 12 assists, 2 steals, 1 block

You can’t spell LeBron without L.O.N., and he’s proving why, with his second straight triple-double. This one got the Cavs a win, at Indiana.

Honorable Mention Of The Night:

Chris Bosh — 40 points, 5 boards, 5 assists, 1 steal, 1 block

Absolutely no one talks about Toronto, and for that matter Orlando, when it comes to Playoffs. Sure we’d like to see a healthy T.J. Ford back on the team, but Bosh wants the Great White North to be heard. They’ve been to the Playoffs, they’ve won a series, and this year they want more.

Manu Ginobili — 44 points, 4 assists, 3 boards, 1 steal

The actual factual L.O.N.nie winner, but we couldn’t resist the LeBr.O.N. gimmick. Over the past few years many people have wondered what type of numbers Ginobili would put up if he was the focal point of a team — now we know. He would ball. In the month of February he has averaged 25.9 ppg on 50.8% shooting, with two 40+ point games. Thursday night he even threw in the game-winning jump shot. The coupe is on Ma-nu, Gi-nobilis.

Worst Of The Night:

Knicks, 84, 76ers, 124

Yeah, that’s losing by a 40-spot! Extend Isiah! At one point ESPN.com’s scoreboard was not updating, and it looked like New York was winning the 4th quarter 19-0. It turned out to be a malfunction, but it WOULD NOT HAVE MATTERED. The Knicks would have still been down by 21!

Near Triple-Double Of The Night:

Chris Paul — 31 points, 11 assists, 9 steals, 5 boards

As the MVP chants rained down in the N.O., Paul stole the show in Jason Kidd’s Mavs debut.

Earl Watson — 15 points, 9 assists, 8 boards

This is a CLASSIC case of a bad player putting up big numbers on a bad team. We watched this game, and despite playing NBA point guard now for 7 years, he still makes a lot of middle school decisions. P.J. Carlesimo is definitely only enduring the Alien Head Era, not enjoying it.

Trade Part I Of The Night:

Cleveland gets:

Wally Szczerbiak
Delonte West
Ben Wallace
Joe Smith
2009 2nd Round Pick

Chicago gets:

Larry Hughes
Drew Gooden
Cedric Simmons
Shannon Brown

Seattle gets:

Donyell Marshall
Ira Newble
Adrian Griffin

This seems like a big mess. Trading for the sake of trading? As Kenny Smith pointed out on Inside The NBA last night, all the players Cleveland received have huge question marks. Sure, if each one works out perfectly, the Cavs will be in great shape. But if each guy plays like he has been, they’ll probably be worse off than before. Chicago and Seattle succeeded by getting out from underneath terrible contracts, and the Bulls probably ended up the single most valuable commodity, in Drew Gooden.

Trade Part II Of The Night:

Houston gets:

Bobby Jackson
Adam Haluska

Rights to Sergei Lishouk

Memphis gets:

Marcus Vinicius
Rights to Malick Badiane
Cash

New Orleans gets:

Bonzi Wells
Mike James

Thank you for facilitating, Memphis. Chris Wallace must have friends in high places, in either Houston or N.O. Or they just wanted to keep it a South Thang. This is simply a move to sure up a couple weak areas, for the stretch run. Mike James sort of is Bobby Jackson, so N.O. gets their money for nothing, and their chicks for free. Houston’s motivation was getting rid of Mike James’ contract… you know, they one they just game him prior to this season! This trade proves that was one of the stupidest signings ever.

Trade Part III Of The Night:

Houston gets:

Gerald Green

Minnesota gets:

Kirk Snyder
2nd Round Pick
Cash

Why not take a flier on Green? He can score, which he showed while he was in Boston. For some unknown reason, Minnesota never game him a chance, so he does seem to come with a “Buyer Beware” tag. The Rockets lose practically nothing though, so why not?

Trade Part IV Of The Night:

Denver gets:

Taurean Grean

Portland gets:

Von Wafer

No clue. Who cares? Every player with the last name Green had to be traded by league mandate? Philly missed the memo, keeping Willie? The L.O.N. C.E.O. and Resident Scientist do have a bet, though, as to whether Green will still be in the League in the couple years… so maybe this will affect that?

Trade Part V Of The Night:

Detroit gets:

Juan Dixon

Toronto gets:

Primoz Brezec

Nice for Detroit. Brezec was not playing for them, and they pick up a nice veteran back court guy in Dixon, who can shoot that rock. Guess Toronto just wanted front court depth. And they can never have enough European players!

Trade Part VI Of The Night:

San Antonio gets:

Kurt Thomas

Seattle gets:

Brent Barry
Francisco Elson
2009 1st Round pick

Yet ANOTHER guy goes back home, as Barry goes back to the place where he had his best years. However, the story of this is Kurt Thomas. Is there a better fit for San Antonio? He’ll slide right in, adding defense, toughness and a nice little jump shot. Most importantly, he adds crazy eyes!!!! Yes.

Forget Devin Harris, Marcus Williams=freed. 25 points, 4 boards, 4 assists, 2 steals, 1 block in his first start in the post-Jason Kidd era… Detroit has hit a rough patch coming out of the break, losing two in a row. They better take out Milwaukee tonight, before they go on the road to play Phoenix, Denver and Utah… If the Phoenix/LA and Boston/G-State games are any indication, this stretch run of the season is going to live up to the hype… Boom Dizzle at the buzzer — YES!!!!… Somebody done told D.J. Mbenga wrong. He thought Shaq’s Diner was closed? EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!!!!…

Line Of The Night:

Earl Watson — 26 points, 9 assists, 3 boards, 2 steals, 1 alien head

We hate on this guy so much, but we have to him give credit when credit is due. Watson has been on fire in February, and it’s even resulted in a few Sonics victories. Last night, they didn’t even have Kevin Durant, who was out with the flu, and won, albeit against fellow cellar-dwellar, Memphis.

Jason Kidd Of The Night:

What? You thought this was going to be about the trade?

LeBron James — 26 points, 13 boards, 11 assists, 2 steals

The King does not care who surrounds him, All-Stars, Cavs, whatever; he is putting up all-around stats regardless. However, the scoreboard does care, as the full stat sheet did not a win get. When you go from from Kidd and D-Wade to Larry Hughes and Ira Newble in your back court, the wins are tougher. One other thing that is immediately obvious when looking at a Cavs box score — Danny Ferry LOVES Rich Boy. Drew Gooden, Donyell Marshall, Daniel Gibson, Damon Jones and Dwayne Jones? THROW SOME D‘S ON THAT TEAM!

Near Jason Kidd Of The Night:

Oh, so you thought THIS one would be about the trade?

Marcus Camby — 13 boards, 11 points, 9 blocks, 3 assists, 3 steals

Camby gets copious amount of L.O.N. love, whether he’s beasting it, or J-Kidding it. This effort came in the game of the night, a 124-118 Denver victory over Boston, in K.G.’s return to the court. Camby stuffed the stat sheet, but the block that would have given him the full triple-double? EAT YOUR BREAKAST!!!!, c/o Paul Peezy.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Charlotte Bobcats, 65 vs. the San Antonio Spurs.

The Bobcats really used the All-Star break to recharge, re-energize, and come back for a strong stretch run! Um… not quite. For awhile it appeared both squads would be contraction eligible, but Old Man Finley turned it on and the Spurs at least managed 85. Put this game at the end of The Departed… dome shot, please.

Trade Of The Night:

Dallas Mavs get:

Jason Kidd
Antoine Wright
Malik Allen

Dirty Jerse Nets get:

Devin Harris
Desagana Diop
Trenton Hassell
Maurice Ager
Keith Van Horn
2008 First Round Pick
2010 First Round Pick
$3 million in cash

Finally. It’s done. We can move on. With all of the incessant coverage of this on-again-off-again trade, we won’t bore you with too much analysis. We’ll just say that in our eyes, this is just as questionable, scheme-wise, as the Shaq deal. And two more words: Erick Dampier. Oh yeah… and they still Dirk “Fold-up Chair” Nowitzki.

You Know When They Said That? When I Was Back Home Of The Night:

An interesting sub-plot of several of the recent NBA trades is the fact that players involved have been returning to the teams with which they started their NBA teams. Chris Webber is now back in Golden State, with even the same coach, in Don Nelson. Jason Kidd is back in Dallas, where he won Co-Rookie Of The Year (word to Grant Hill). These two both had volatile runs the first time around. Nellie knows C-Webb probably doesn’t have the juice any more to create a franchise-splitting rift, but there is no word of Toni Braxton’s whereabouts, and if she could possibly get herself involved in a Kidd/Nowitzki love triangle.

A couple of other guys returning to their NBA roots do not have major roles now, but definitely did way back when. Anthony Johnson will most likely continue his journeyman career following this stint with the Kings, but the last time he was in Sactown, 97-98, he was one of the most surprising rookies in the League, starting most of the year and averaging what is still a career-high for him, 29.4 minutes per game. Meanwhile, Keith Van Horn is returning to his Dirty Jerse stomping grounds, although it remains to be seen how much high-socked terror he will be able to unleash in the Izod Zone. But if you’re looking for some comfortable and, uh, soft clothes to wear… head to Jersey. We hear Van Horn and Vince Carter, AKA The Tissue Twins, are coming out with a new lounge wear line… or maybe they’ll be Victoria’s Secret “Pink” models!

The Boston/Denver game had another EAT YOUR BREAKFAST moment, when Carmelo went baseline and served breakfast for two to Big Baby Davis and Tony Allen!… Rajon Rondo, meanwhile, perhaps buying into his baby-face-ness, went smaaaaaaaaaaaaash time on some kid sitting court side, eating Dippin’ Dots. Elbow to the domepiece and the kid’s shoulder/elbow area. It makes us sick to see some spoiled brat sitting front row and not even paying attention to one of the better match-ups in the League… The Knicks turning point, perhaps? A heated exchange took place in the final regulation huddle of the Knicks/Wiz game, involving Q-Rich and Zach Randolph, while seemingly aimed at Nate Robinson. It worked, as they stopped Antonio Daniels’ final shot, and then kilt ‘em in OT…

Another outstanding All-Star Weekend — L.O.N.’s favorite time of year.  We hate to see it end.

Line Of The Night AKA Near Triple-Double Of The Night:

LeBron James — 27 points, 9 assists, 8 boards, 2 steals, 2 blocks, 1 All-Star Game MVP Award

2 All-Star Game MVP awards at the age of 23?  Sick.  Ray Allen made a huge push for this award, going crazy from 3 in the 4th quarter to end up with 28 points.  However, in the final minute with the game’s outcome in the balance, EAT YOUR BREAKFAST happened!  LeBron served some delicious sauerkraut right in Dirk’s Mouth!  Wow.  Nowitzki is so worthless… step up!

Worst Of The Night:

This is a tie between Mr. Cryant and Reggie Miller.  Kobe hit us with a quick strike of awfulness, while Reggie Miller waged a long, hard-fought, campaign!  The Mailroom Supervisor sums up our Reggie feelings, a little later on.  As for Kobe, thanks for uselessly taking up a roster spot to play only 3 minutes with your stupid, messed up finger.  In one of the deepest potential All-Star classes in memory, Kobe had to waste a roster spot and make it all about him, parading around answering questions about his injury and gleefully showcasing his wrapped hand on the bench.

Boooooooooooooo-riiiiiiiiing Of The Night:

How boring were the marginal West selections?  When you’re practically forced to take Yao Ming, Tim Duncan and Nowitzki each year on the roster, you are already starting a little high on boring All-Stars meter.  Outstanding players (well, not Dirk, ha!), but just not fun guys to have in the All-Star game — Yao’s three’s and Duncan’s jokes (and three’s as well) notwithstanding.  So when you’re starting with that kind of disadvantage, can you please not force us to stomach Carlos Boozer, David West and Brandon Roy (that no-way-in-hell oop he attempted is Exhibit A)?  Come on.  Give us Boom Dizzle, Manu Ginobili, and Deron Williams!  Free Stephen Jackson.

The Mailroom Supervisor’s H.O.N.nie Of The NIght:

Chris Paul for being “a home team hero and not throwing up despite his nerves and being super-cute”

Runner-up for H.O.N.nie?  Ernie Johnson — for “having to deal with Charles Barkley and for saying ’spanked’ on national television”.

The MRSV’s N.O.T.tie Of The Night

Straight from the MRSV:  “Shut up, already, Reggie!  Not only are you ugly, but your voice sucks and your brain is stupid.”

Yikes.  We can’t argue with that.

Fashion Review Of The Night:

TNT did a particularly poor job of celebrity spotting and player shoe coverage, but we scoped what we could.

We loved the uniforms and the warm-ups, especially the West’s.  A lot of people were hating on the double-sided unis, but we were feeling ‘em.  Our favorite detail were the logos of past All-Star weekends on player’s warm-ups who had been on multiple teams.

Magic Johnson had on a nice gray and purple (the color of the weekend, it seemed) suit/tie combo.  His problem is that he’s getting a little too big for any suit to look right on him.

Harry Connick, Jr. really wanted to stand out, as he rocked neon-brown (yes, neon-brown!  At least when contrasted by his all black suit/shirt/tie) dress shoes.  Special All-Star editions, perhaps?  Were they stitched with H-Conn-JR?

Just in case a picnic broke out, assistant coach Darrell Walker was prepared, dipped out in an orange and blue table cloth.

On the court, Carmelo had a whole lot of leg stuff going on: red socks, white calf covers, and various other stuff.

As we mentioned, shoe coverage was minimal.  A big deal was made of Chris Paul’s dual-allegiance, though.  In the first half he wore the new Jordan XXIII’s (as did Melo), while in the second half he switched to his first signature shoe, which bore tributes to his deceased grandfather as well as his college coach, Skip Prosser.

Craig Sager also interviewed Steve Nash about his dogs, which were covered in shoes made from 100% recycled material.  However, the highlight of that exchange was Nash snatching Sager’s handkerchief, blowing his nose in it, and placing it back in Craig’s suit pocket!  Boom.

We also noticed LeBron, in an All-Star edition of his signature line, colored blue and gray like the East unis, as well as Iditarod with shiny gold feet.  No word if those meet official Iditarod racing specifications.

Non-MVP, MVP Of The Night:

Chris Paul — 16 points, 14 assists, 4 steals, 3 boards

The MVP winner almost always hinges on the outcome of the game, and this year’s award was no different.  If the West had come all the way back, hometown hero Chris Paul would have been the man.  He took over in the 4th, just like he does back on his Hornets squad.  It’s a beautiful thing when a point guard dominates a game.  It’s like he’s a puppet master controlling each of the other 9 guys on the court.  His size and abilities are similar to what might happen if you took Allen Iverson’s body, cut off half his brain, and put half of Steve Nash’s brain in.  Steven Ivasherson.  l Get used to this dude runnin’ thangs in mid-February for years to come.

Big Men Shooting 3’s Of The Night:

It’s become a time-honored All-Star tradition; big men, finally unbridled, step out for an attempt at a little 3-point glory.  There was more glory than usual this year, as Yao (0-2), Amare (1-2), Duncan (0-1, and he had another, just toeing the line that he banked in ON PURPOSE), and Rasheed Wallace (1-5, mostly left-handed!) were all in the mix.  Commentator Doug Collins even joked about it, suggesting coach Byron Scott was inserting Yao back into the lineup for his needed 3-point touch.  The moral of the story (word to Saigon) though?  ‘Sheed’s left-handed long-range gun is more potent than almost every other big man shooting with their strong hand!

D-Wade Of The Night:

Dwyane Wade — 14 points, 4 boards, 3 assists, 1 block

At one point, after a Wade miscue, the L.O.N. C.E.O. jokingly said that D-Wade is “over-the-hill”, but actually, had some of the more entertaining highlights on the night.  First, he took Big Dirk to the hole, bringing back memories of the Heat/Mavs Finals.  Then, in the third quarter, he came with the Jordanesque, back-to-the-basket, wrist-slap, over-head-flip-shot, and-1!  Beautiful.  Finally, he sealed the game by STUFFING Big Dirk at the 3-point line!  Jeez… Big Dirk gets absolutely and consistently abused when surrounded by great players.

David West the only player to have his name on the front AND back of this jersey.  WEST on WEST, FOOLS!  It almost makes us want another Westside Connection album, just so they can all rock that jersey in the video…  TNT’s new backboard stat pop-out is weird and unnecessary, but we like it… Steve Nash needs to shoot more in the regular season games… Jason Kidd guarded Dirk at one point.  Oh the intrigue!… Nashty assists a Dirk turnaround.  Oh the memories!… Is Nash going to develop a jealous rage against Kidd?  Or LeBron vs. Dirk?  This week, on “As The Aging Unloaded Star Turns”… Stop calling fouls, refs!… The Nash/Paul back court was AWESOME… Gotta love the triple-alley-oop, featured as #3 in this countdown… Amare served Dwight Howard some scrumptious breakfast.  #2 in that same video…

Line Of The Night AKA Dunk Contest Blow-By-Blow Of The Night:

It’s all about the dunk contest, ya’ll.  This year’s edition was one of the most overall entertaining contests ever.  Every contestant brought something nice to the competition, and Dwight Howard and Gerald Green had truly unforgettable performances.  Almost all of the dunks deserve discussion, and discussion they’ll get.  Here’s a blow-by-blow recap.

Jamario Moon, 1st Attempt, 46, L.O.N. score — 9:

Moon went with the self-toss alley-oop, and it is nasty.  After the bounce, he 360s (only about 180 in the air), reaches waaaaaay back with one arm, and finishes it strong.  It is not as good as when Fred Jones did the same thing a few years back, but it is impressive.  He needed to do something to get the crowd involved more, though.  It’s like everybody was still asleep.  Overall a strong start from Moon.

Rudy Gay, 1st Attempt, 37, 7:

Gay came baseline, did a two-handed cradle into a left-handed dunk.  Nice dunk?  Sure.  But we’ve seen it before, and he does nothing to build any excitement.  A lot of the talking heads stated that Gay is more of “game dunker” and he might have trouble in this contest.  Looks like they were right.

Dwight Howard, 1st Attempt, 50, 10!!!:

Uh-oh.  He’s going to the other end… what’s happening?  What’s he gonna do?  He’s walking around… he’s inspecting… the anticipation is building.  OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  From out-of-bounds, behind the backboard, he throws it off the board, keeps his head behind, and windmills it in?  ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!?!!!  Creativity and an unmatched combination of jumping ability and height.  Ya’ll (Gay, Moon, Green) are in trouble!

Gerald Green, 1st Attempt, 46, 10!!!!!!!!:

Green announced prior to the show that his first dunk would be the “Birthday Cake”.  Another smart move, building anticipation.  He’s got his teammate Rashad McCants up on a ladder, with a birthday cake… what in the world?  Rashad’s lighting a candle on the cake!  He’s gonna blow it out!  McCants bounces the ball to him… he grabs the ball two-handed… OHHHHH!!!!!  HE BLEW IT OUT!!!  HE BLEW OUT THE CANDLE THEN DUNKED TWO-HANDED!!  THAT’S THE HOTTEST DUNK EVER!!!!!   The judges only give him a 46?

You gotta see the instant replay to fully appreciate this one.  TNT has a camera right behind the board which clearly shows  Green blowing out the candle before slamming it home.  That is awesome.  But without replay, the judges don’t really get it.  This is like last year, when Howard’s “sticker dunk” was not fully appreciated live.  It’s time to give the judges monitors.  Cats these days are capable of stuff that cannot be fully comprehended by the naked eye alone.

Rudy Gay, 2nd Attempt, 48, 9:

Why is Rudy going?  Isn’t it Jamario’s turn?  He’s got teammate Kyle Lowry (uh-oh… showing preference over Mike Conley?  Tabloid drama!) out there to help.  A practice toss against the back stanchion… these things are great for anticipation.  Lowry bounces it off the stanchion and Gay windmills it.  Nice.  Way better than his first dunk, but a bit derivative compared to D-Ho’s dunk.  He is just a victim of bad timing.  It probably would have been more well received had he done this first.  But he still manages a 48 for the second best score so far!

Jamario Moon, 2nd Attempt, 44, 8:

Hmm… Moon is putting down a tape marker, two feet behind the free throw line.  If he can complete this… oh my.  He has teammate Jason Kapono out there as well, so it must be an oop.  Nah, after the first failed attempt it appears this ain’t gonna work.  Kapono is bouncing it too him, so there’s a whole lot of timing that has be perfect.  Well he got it, but he stepped WAY inside the line.  He completed it one-handed off the bounce.  Magic Johnson is right — he should not have set expectations so high by putting down the tape.

Gerald Green, 2nd Attempt, 45, 9:

What in the world… Green is back with the ladder, but this time it is pulled out further on the court.  McCants is back out there as well, and is climbing up to the top.  He does NOT look comfortable up there and he even is doing the sign of the cross!  Comedy.  He is holding the ball out with one hand… he lofts it straight up above the basket… Green takes off, catches, and a NASTY windmill!  That dude is SO high!  No exaggeration when we say his head is above the rim.  He is the official windmill king of the world at this point.

Dwight Howard, 2nd Attempt, 50, 9:

Dwight is coming out on the court with teammate Jameer Nelson.  He’s putting tape down… a Magic dancer brings out something red.. Nelson grabs it… is it a cape?  It is!  Did the L.O.N. Unpaid Intern get in his ear?  He had been raving about capes in dunk contests, earlier this weekend.  D-Ho takes his jersey off to reveal a Superman costume!  Nelson puts the cape on him!  The crowd goes wild!  This is gonna win it off principal.  Jameer throws it from behind the board, Howard takes off from what appears to be the planet Krypton… he grabs it… he’s flying!!!!  He throws it down!!!  Kenny Smith has absolutely lost his damn mind!!!!!  They are playing the Superman music in the background!!!  Absolutely amazing!

Wow.  On the replay though, it shows that he did not really dunk it.  His hand ended up a foot away from the basket, and he had to throw the ball in.  So it’s not even really a dunk.  But the way he captured the imagination of everyone in the arena, no one even cares.  Now this is a situation where replay might have hurt his score.  Although it is absurd to see him flying through the air like that.  The slept on part of this dunk is Nelson’s pass from BEHIND THE BACKBOARD.  Perhaps the key to this hole thing is that he nailed it on the first attempt.

Gerald Green, Final Round, 1st Attempt, 9:

At this point, Dwight Howard has complete control of the crowd.  Green is going to have to do something extremely special to pull this out.  There is no more court side judging, as the fans will pick the winner from here.  He pulled his pants up way high, so maybe he’s doing “The Nerd Dunk”?  McCants is out there again too… do these guys do anything separately?  Seems like the two of them together, off the court, is a recipe for trouble!  Looks like he’s attempting a pass over the backboard, catch off the bounce, between the legs… that’s a whole lotta stuff going on.  DAMN, that is nice!  Like Kenny said, though, a lot of people have gone through the legs.  Green added a new twist to it though, off the pass… and he is so high!

Dwight Howard, Final Round, 1st Attempt, 10:

No props, just Howard this time.  He’s throwing the self-oop… he catches off the ground… what the hell did he just do?  OHHHHHHHH!!!!!!  Off the bounce, he tapped it off the board with his left hand, then RE-CAUGHT IT with this right, THEN dunked it home!  So sick.  So, so sick.  Now THAT was his best dunk.  No gimmicks, no pass from another guy, just raw creativity using the ball and the basket.  And he made it look so easy!  That is hard as hell to do.  The competition is his.

Gerald Green, Final Round, 2nd Attempt, 9:

He pretty much cannot win at this point, but let’s see what he’s got.  Ha, he just took his shoes off, autographed them, and put them on the judges’ table!  Comedy.  He goes up for the bare-footed, through the legs windmill.  Nice, but he just can’t touch Howard’s showmanship.  As Dr. J notes later, people underestimate the difficulty of dunking without shoes.  We agree, but he probably needed to pick a different type of dunk, since he had already done that one.  It’s interesting that last year, when Green won, people did not quite understand Howard’s dunks.  Maybe that situation is reversed this year.

Dwight Howard, Final Round, 2nd Attempt, 10:

Let’s finish it up nice, big fella.  He’s bringing out the props again… and here comes that ladder!  The NBA missed out on a sponsorship opportunity with the latter.  Jameer has a mini-hoop, and he’s putting it on the board.  Is he gonna dunk two balls, one small, one big?  Is he putting it up at twelve feet since they wouldn’t let him raise the rim?  No… the mini-hoop is down on the corner of the board, and a real ball has been placed ON TOP of it.   OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  He grabs it off the one hoop, and windmills it in!  That dude is sick.  Wow.  The combo of physicality and athleticism is unbelievable.  Congratulations, Dwight.  You captured the crowd right from the beginning and put on an unforgettable show.  Lovely.

Worst Of The Night:

Rod Benson, D-League All-Star, straight outta North Dakota, received the ball on the break, with nothing at all between him and All-Star glory, and maybe even a 10-day NBA contract.  He sizes up the rim, takes two steps and… ugh.  He tried the impossible task of dunking while BELOW the rim!  The rim wins every time.  Uh-oh… you don’t want to go out like that in the All-Star game!

Guinness Book Of World Records Of The Night:

The Guinness Records are doing their best to get their name back out there in the public spotlight.  After being featured in an episode of Rob & Big, Guinness made it’s next move at the All-Star game.  During Saturday’s open practices, several players tried to hit as many half court shots as possible in one minute.  The East’s practice was first, with LeBron and Jason Kidd setting the record at 3 in a minute.  The amazing part about Kidd’s shots, though, were that he shot most with one hand, under-handed, like a bowler!  And they were right at the rim.  Ay-yo, that Kidd is niiiiiiiice.  Because his form did not get him out of position, he also was able to get off considerably more attempts.  Kidd maybe should win on level of difficulty merits, but at the end of the day, following the West’s practice, Chris Paul was the holder of the record, with 4 in a minute.  Gotta love All-Star practice!

Fashion Review Of The Night:

Last night we were feeling LeBron’s outfit, but he lost us Saturday night.  He had on some sort of half-trench coat, with extra collar, looking like a spy.  Our man Russ Bengston saw the same thing, calling him Inspector Gadget!  At least he kept it interesting.  His serious MVP competition, Kobe, was pure boring, with a black shirt/gray coat combo.  Joining these guys on the worst list was another guy at the top of his respective field, Mark Cuban.  Cuban, albeit dressed up from his usual t-shirt, was looking as raggedy as ever in a frat boy-esque collared, but not button-up, shirt.  You know, one of those Abercrombie-type joints, where the collar stays wrinkled?  He should have just stayed true in a tee.  And he had on a headset… not sure what he was broadcasting (turns out he was on some sort of German All-Star broadcast).

The flashiest cats of the night — and you’re not going to believe this — were Damon Jones and Terrell Owens.  Of course.  Jones had the Mohawk and a burgundy velour suit, while T.O. had the extra-Hollywood, black t with silver shine, accompanied by the sleek black sunglasses, and a bunch of other shine, seemingly coming from everywhere.  That little girl on the tv would tell you, “It’s the mirrors”.

We had two favorites, each coming with vastly different styles.  First, was Amare Stoudemire, who went with the new age, Hipster/Hip-Hop/Hollywood/Rock Star/Disco/Hell mix.  He had a military-type coat with rhinestones, accompanied by the super-thick dookie gold chain!  Awesome.  On the complete other end of the spectrum was Caron Butler.  Tough Juice kept it smooth, opting for a peachy/tan suit with a red pocket handkerchief for a nice contrast.  But where was the obligatory McDonald’s straw?

We also liked what the always well-dressed Dwyane Wade had going, especially the Mailroom Supervisor…

The MRSV’s H.O.N.nie Of The Night:

D-Wade for: “looking hot in the green leather jacket” and “taking his shirt off for the ladies’ enjoyment before shooting his Guinness half court shots.”

At first glance, we thought we were seeing the Black Fonz, as Wade went with a simple leather jacket, white tee and jeans combo.  But then we realized he had updated the flavor a little, with the green jacket.  And no comment about the second aspect of this.

Three-Point Shootout Of The Night:

Coming in, this field looked absolutely stacked.  However, disappointingly, despite a great individual performance, as a group, this was far from a memorable showing.  Perhaps we should have been aware of impending doom right away, when we saw Rip Hamilton come out with a flaming fire elbow sleeve.  Corny!  It definitely did not help, as Rip could not even stay behind the line and ended up with a low score.  That set the tone for much of the first round, as Steve Nash could not even break double-digits and hometown hero Peja Stojakovic put up a surprisingly bad performance.  Even Dirk barely skated into the 2nd round, shooting with cartoonish arc on his shot.  Boobie Gibson tried to keep his hot rookie shooting display, and was also able to make it past round 1, but in the end, it was a one-man show.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the man, the myth, the legend, Jason Kapono, was untouchable on the night.  He had the high score in each round, and tied Craig Hodges’ all-time single round record of 25.  En fuego.

Probably the highlight of this competition came from the announcing table. First, Kevin Harlan asked Charles and Kenny if they saw Boobie Gibson in the Rookie Game… and they were CALLING that game!  They got him good for that mis-step.  Then, Reggie Miller referred to something on the court as the “titty”, and all hell broke loose, with Charles saying all types of stuff that must’ve had TNT execs cringing.

Shooting Stars Of The Night:

We make no apologies.  We like any and all competitions held on All-Star Weekend, including the much-maligned Shooting Stars.  You can hate us now… but we won’t stop now.

The defending champs, the Detroit team featuring Chauncey, Swin and Laimbeer, looked smug from the get green, and it showed in their debacle of a performance.  Swin couldn’t hit, and then Bill Laimbeer killed a fan when he missed the entire world with his half court shot.  NASA is still tracking that, um, bad boy.  Immediately after, no joke, rumors broke that Swin Cash is being traded to the Seattle Storm!  Yikes.  The WNBA mos def takes this seriously.  The Phoenix team was so awful, all we remember is Eddie Johnson shooting out of turn and Reggie Miller yelling nonsensically about it.

The Bulls team came out with some possible controversy.  Native Louisianan Chris Duhon was looking salty as hell during introductions, while teammates B.J. Armstrong AKA The Original Boobie Gibson and Candice Dupree were looking downright cozy.  Hmm… love triangle of Dawson/Pacey/Joey proportions?  Or are we talking Lucas/Brooke/Peyton/  Anyway… as far as the competition goes, it looked like they had a good number going, but they absolutely fell apart when it came to the half court shot.

The half court shot was the least of San Antone and David Robinson’s worries.  Despite his body looking like he was just on a 3 day break from the season like the rest of the fellas, he took a katrillion shots for him to hit the first lay-up type shot!  Damn awkward lefty.  He nailed the half court shot right away, though, keeping San Antonio in it.

The final round, featuring The Chi vs. Remember The, came down to pretty much the same story.  The Bulls put up a nice number, but then completely fell apart from half court, allowing the Twin Towers + Becky Hammon to triumph.  That’s what champs do.

Skills Challenge Of The Night:

This year’s point guard Skills Challenge featured 3 young guns — Chris Paul, Deron Williams and Dwyane Wade — and an old head, in Jason Kidd.  Kidd screwed up on the jump shot — the graveyard of many a Skills Challenge competitor — while defending champ D-Wade blew it even earlier than that.  He dribbled off his foot into the crowd, almost before the whistle even blew.  Then, he couldn’t hit the J either, and in fact, just threw up quick hopeless shots, just to get by that area.  To complete the microcosm of his Heat squad’s season, he couldn’t even hit the layup at the end!

It came down to the two point guards that are continuously linked, Williams and Paul.  They had the course almost perfected, and in the second round, Williams DID perfect it, setting the all-time record.  It must have been all that PS3 practice he got in earlier that morning.  Paul noticeably picked up his pace in an effort to re-set it, but a missed J got him.  Advantage Williams, in the “best young point” argument.  Is there any more definitive evidence than this?

D-League All-Star Game Of The Night:

L.O.N. saw this game live last year, and when in attendance, it felt like some sort of rec league game in a random gym in Anywere, U.S.A.  Seeing it broadcast live on NBA TV, with Ian Eagle handling play-by-play duties, definitely made it feel much more official.  Not sure if the attendees would agree, though.  This game is also has the least exhibition feel of the all the weekend’s events.  These cats want to make the L, and scouts are in attendance.  It’s a mix of prospects (the Spurs have a good one in Frenchman Ian Mahinmi), sure things just warming up (Morris Almond), niche players just biding their time (Andre Barrett and Eddie Gill) and old heads that just can’t give up their love for the game (Randy Livingston).  So aside from a couple EMPHATIC Kaniel Dickens finishes, and a Mahinmi alley-oop early, there was a lot of solid, fundamental basketball played.  It’s probably a good thing the game generally stayed vanilla, because the few times players tried to show-out a little, the results were not pleasant.

D-League MVP Of The Night:

Jeremy Richardson — 22 points, 4 boards, 1 steal

Other than All-Star teammate and 1st round pick Morris Almond, Richardson might be the best NBA prospect-type out there.  Dude is a scorer.  His J looked good in spurts — a streak shooter for sure — but he has the athleticism to get to the rack.  Probably needs to work on that handle and those muscles, though, if he wants a permanent NBA spot.

It’s Only A Matter Of Time Of The Night:

Morris Almond — 20 points on 8-10 shooting, 3 boards, 1 steal

The jumper is so pure.  When the Jazz do decide to bring him up, he certainly won’t lack confidence.  He’s dropped 53 in a D-League game this year, and now scored 20 against the league’s best.  When you think about how similar his game is to J.J. Redick’s, it’s interesting to consider their divergent paths.  Redick has been forced to languish on the Orlando Magic’s bench, while Almond has received serious run in the minors.  Time will tell if one way works better than the other.

Other D-League Highlights Of The Night:

We’ve always loved Randy Livingston, and he’s serving as a consummate pro and mentor in the D-League.  The reason he can’t play in the NBA at this point, though, was obvious, when 6′10″ Jelani McCoy was able to lock him up on the perimeter!  The knees just can’t get it done, at this point… A few solid big men that could see a future NBA roster:  Lance Allred, winner of the H.O.R.S.E. competition (which seemed maybe a little too boring to ever make the big show) and Elton Brown, an under-sized beast in the post… Sean Banks showed some decent moves out there and we have firsthand knowledge that he also has some nice moves on the poker table.  If you see him at Hollywood Park, watch out.  He just wants to get a 10-day NBA contract so he can get in some of those NBA poker games!… Billy Thomas does a weird, quick, hand-jerk-back after everything — shots, passes, steal attempts — bizarre… Andre Barret just jitter-buggin’ out there… It wouldn’t be a D-League All-Star squad without a Powell.  Word to Kasib and Carlos…

Trade Of The Night:

Atlanta gets:

Mike Bibby, PG

Sacramento gets:

Anthony Johnson, PG
Tyronn Lue, PG
Shelden Williams, PF
Lorenzen Wright, C
2008 2nd Round Pick

Atlanta was forced by League Offices to complete this trade while everyone was paying attention to the All-Star festivities, otherwise people around the globe would have suffered instant heart attacks and/or strokes!  The Hawks as contenders?  Making moves?  They are supposed to be the team taking BACK the future picks and contracts.  It’s a new day.  And they FINALLY have a point guard… possibly the first since Spud Webb and Doc Rivers roamed the city.  This gives them a sick lineup, including one of the best back courts anywhere, and they don’t give up much, as far as current contributors.  Johnson and Lue played before this deal, but would not have been necessary with Bibby around.  This should all but cement a playoff spot for the ATLiens.  Oh yeah… and it’s phenomenal that they managed to recover something legit from one of the worst top 5 picks in history — Shelden Williams.

Sacramento is just trying to restructure and rebuild.  They get rid of Bibby’s large deal, and gain flexibility in 3 expiring contracts.  Besides, they were probably playing better this year before Bibby came back from injury, and Beno Udrih was running things.  This might not be the last you hear out of Sactown in the coming week, as Ron Artest’s name has also been mentioned in possible deals.

The Vernon Maxwell rumor is wild.  The 42 year-old, who has not played since 2001, never had his rights renounced by the Mavs, and has been mentioned as a possibility in the potential Jason Kidd deal!  Madness… T.J. Kidd exploding back on the scene!  God save us…  It’s looking like Gerald Green may need to join Drew Gooden’s All-Airhead Team…  We did not love it, but the NBA at least improved a little in their music selection, going with the New Orleans jazz theme.  Usually they are completely clueless, but Broussard had us jamming… By the end of the night, we were feeling the CGI-ed woman things TNT was using as graphics… Stay classy, Dr. J… Darrell Dawkins is a wild boy… Brent Petway wins the D-League dunk contest.  Air Georgia!!!