L.O.N.

As seen on SLAMOnline:

Line Of The Night:

Ray Allen — 35 points, 2 boards, 2 assists

The Ray Allen jump shot is still such a beautiful sight, event after all these years.  The Ceatles needed every last one of them against the Pacers, as this season’s giant killers almost struck again, before falling in OT.

Beast Of The Night:

Amare Stoudemire — 22 points, 20 boards, 2 assists

The Suns used this effort to tough out a 2 point win over the Jazz.  Isn’t there a whole lotta complaining and bickering in Phoenix for a team that really isn’t in that bad of shape?

Kevin Garnett — 20 boards, 17 points, 5 steals, 4 assists, 1 block

One other note on the Boston OT win.  Why was the Indiana offense run through Rasho Nesterovic during OT?  Give it to Granger, already.

Near Fat Lever Of The Night:

Vince Carter — 14 points, 11 boards, 8 assists, 2 steals

This versatile Vinsanity voyage vaulted the Nets to victory over the Sixers.  With a winning record about a fourth of the way into the season… dare we mention the “P” word for Dirty Jerse?

Near Beast Of The Night:

Marcus Camby — 19 boards, 7 blocks, 3 assists, 2 steals

How a coach on a bad team that is going nowhere can survive a completely uninspired blowout loss at home to the Clippers is beyond us, in this day and age of the light speed spinning coaching carousel.  But as of the writing of this, Randy Wittman remains the captain of this long past sunken ship.  (Update:  Wittman out, Kevin McHale takes over).  In related news, a bit of a terrible team round robin tourney took place, with the Clip Joint visiting Memphis Friday, followed by Minnesota on Saturday.  We needed a Memphis/Minnesota matchup to truly set things off, but with a little middle school geometry, we can crown Minnesota as the second worst team in the West.  Congratulations.

David Lee — 19 boards, 12 points, 3 assists

Must be the new hairdo.  We’ll call it the fratboy mohawk.  Lee and the Knicks mauled the Pistons on Sunday, right from jump street.  Blame Iverson or Coach Curry?  The coach does not look like a good fit, to us, so far.  And his abrasive (although often true) interview comments, may not work well, for long.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Charlotte Bobcats — 74 points vs. Cleveland

The Cavs’ absolutely smothering D was on display, highlighted by 10 blocks, including one of LeBron’s now patented from-behind-layup blocks on Raymond Felton.  Cleveland has now won 8 straight games, all by double digits.  They are “in their bag”, currently, as Freeway might tell you.

Rookie Of The Night:

Russell Westbrook — 30 points, 7 boards, 2 assists, 2 steals

Ok, dude is officially freed and can officially get it done on the NBA level, although he does still need to figure out how to reign it in a bit, out there.  While the Outlaws still lost to the Heat, it was only by 6, and almost has to count for something with a team this bad.  Maybe if Westbrook had lived up to his supposed defensive rep, and held D-Wade to less than 38, they might have actually pulled one out.

Interview Of The Night:

David Duchovny was interviewed at halftime of Sunday’s Knicks/Pistons game as part of a segment called “Gimme A Minute with Jill Martin”.  Pure comedy.  First, she messes up the air date when mentioning the season finale of his show, Californication.  No, wait, back up.  FIRST, there are the litany of “I bet he would like a minute with Jill Martin” jokes, given his sex addict status.  But we’ll let you fill in your own punchline with that situation.  Second, she asks if the show might move to a New York location, to which he politely replies, “It’s hard to shoot a show called Californication in New York.”  Awesome.  She doesn’t even bat an eye, though, before mentioning he used to be a “balla”… sounding completely ridiculous.  And just to add to the “what in the hell is going here?” factor, a wheelchair basketball game is going on in the background!  Amazing.

Bobby Brown with the rare 360 wrong-hand lay-up.  Interesting…

As seen on SLAMOnline:

Line Of The Night:

Kevin Garnett — 21 points, 10 boards, 3 assists, 1 block

This is all about what you cannot see in the line.  Peezy went for 36, but he would have been sitting on the bench, getting blown out by the Raptors, if it was not for K.G.  Back at home after an intense win in Detroit, the Ceatles were about as lively as John Lennon and George Harrison during the first half.  The only exception was the Kid, who had his motor running, as usual.  When the rest of his guys still weren’t really into it in the second half, he ratcheted up to that other level, getting everybody going.  He even started pressing Jose Calderon full court, reaching and pointing and clapping and yapping the whole time.  It was a beautiful sight to behold.  Really, can’t they transform his blood into some kind of laptop battery?  Car fuel?  A general high efficiency energy source?  Obama has the solution to the country’s economic, gas, and enviromental problems right under his nose.

Worst Of The Night:

Hey Phoenix, if you are going to pound the ball into Amare and Shaq, maybe you guys should practice the entry pass?  We counted at least 6 failed entry passes in last night’s game against the Grizz.  Gross.  Matt Barnes alone screwed up 3 in a row, at one point!  Overall the Suns are in textbook Bizarro world right now… it’s an odd scene out there in Arizona.

Near Beast Of The Night:

Dwight Howard — 29 points, 19 boards, 1 steal, 1 block

Ok, Greg.  You’ve officially dodged the murder’s row of centers you were set to face to open the season, and your team, the Blazers, even came out of it with a respectable 4-3 record.  Time to come back an enjoy your overwhelming physical advantage.

Rookie Of The Night:

O.J. Mayo — 33 points, 5 assists, 3 boards, 3 steals

Wow.  Coming out of college, we were not exactly sure what Mr. Mayo was going to give us in the NBA.  After two consecutive 30+ games, now we know (well, maybe we don’t… after all, these performances came against the no D Warriors and the “what the hell are we doing out here, coach?” Suns).  Dude is a natural offensive (more offensive than Ralph Nader, more offensive than Andrew Dice Clay, more offensive than Mike Martz, more offensive than Michael Vick at the Westminster Kennel Club, more offensive than an Eminem concert in the Vatican, more offensive than our earlier Beatles comment) talent, and not afraid to have the ball in his hands.  In fact, if every player in uniform for both the Grizz and the Suns had ganged up on him and physically tried to wrestle the ball away from him last night in the 4th quarter, it might have been mission impossible.  And we’re including Shaq in that.  He literally had the ball in his hands over 90% of the time for the Grizz in the fourth.  He balled out for sure, but we were definitely having visions of early-post-Shaq-liberated Kobe.  Mayo could have capped this performance off with a big time clutch shot, but failed on a long, long gun to tie with a few seconds left.

Overall, Memphis has a whole lot of talent, but almost no clue how to play with each other.  With under two minutes to go, they failed to inbound the ball TWICE IN A ROW!  Come on, guys.

Hakim Warrick to Robin Lopez:  get some, have some, want some!  EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!!!!… Amare removes the goggles.  Too bad, we kind of liked them… Leandro Barbosa finally suited up last night, dropping 27 points, but still only played 22 minutes… It hurts to see what has become of the Vinsanity of it all.  He looked hapless last night in clutch (2 turnovers in 3 possessions), as D-Wade showed him how it is properly done… How much extra time do K.G., The Truth and Ray Allen have on their hands now that every single media outlet in the universe no longer has to do an obligatory “Big 3″ feature?  More or less than Melo has, now that the braids are gone?…  The obligatory Hawks reference:  Solomon Jones… Gold medalist Nastia Liukin court side, in Pacers jersey, at Pacers game, but actually a Mavericks fan…  FREE ALICIA SACRAMONE!…