L.O.N.

Line Of The Night:

Kobe Bryant — 31 points, 7 boards, 6 assists, 3 steals, 2 blocks

Sick, sick, sick. The most-likely MVP did it all, as the Lakers pulled out the brooms on the Nuggets. A lot of focus was placed on the mess that is the Denver Nuggets, but is it possible the Lakers are simply really, really good?

Either way, put a fork in the Nuggets. Did this series show their true spirit? Or was it an aberration? A.I. seemed sour and cranky for the whole series, while Melo was almost the complete opposite… seemingly too relaxed. The one positive for them may be J.R. Smith’s series. He seemed focused and stepped it up on the big stage. Can he transfer that to an 82-game season, though? We just hope he keeps launching from 28 feet!

Beast Of The Night:

Dwight Howard — 21 boards, 21 points, 3 blocks, 2 assists

It took them 5 games to the Lakers’ 4, but chronologically, this effort from Superman made the Magic the first team to advance to the second round, as they knocked off the Raptors. They can now sit back and watch the Pistons struggle to knock off the Sixers for at least 2 more games. As for the Raptors? Let the “Fire Sam Mitchell” chants rain down. This team “talented” their way into the Playoffs, never really figuring out their identity. With the roster pieces they have, and no clear problem to point the finger at, they should have been more competitive than they showed in this serie.

Johnson And Smith Of The Night:

Joe Johnson — 35 points, 6 assists, 1 board

Josh Smith — 28 points, 7 blocks, 6 boards, 2 steals, 2 assists

ALL of the 4th quarter points for the A-T-Liens? How do the supposedly defensive-minded Celtics give up 32 points in the 4th, and all of them by only 2 players? Seems like Doc gets some blame for this. He doubled Joe late, but it should have come earlier. And in a separate mistake, why was he not going offense/defense, consistently, at point guard? Sam mad a great offensive play when he was in there… then he got benched.

Josh Smith is about to superstar this league, by the way.

You Reach, I Teach Of The Night:

Whatever Joe Johnson did to Leon Powe last night… it is illegal in 17 states. Does he have a Rasheed Wallace mentality? Is he the type of guy that just does not want to be the superstar every night, and would rather fit in with the team?

The Mailroom Supervisor’s Honey Of The Night: 

Chris Webber — The MRSV says: “He looks nice.  Welcome to the team!”

Line Of The Night:

LeBron James — 34 points, 12 boards, 7 assists, 2 steals

What Hubie “Knowledge” Brown wants, he gets. Pre-game, Brown said LeBron needed to approach a triple-double for the Cavs to win this one. While he was 1 assist shy of official L.O.N. Near Triple-Double status, he was fa sho in the ballpark. Result? Cavs win, as Delonte West nailed a corner 3 in the waning seconds, assisted by The King, of course.

Near Triple-Double Of The Night:

Boris Diaw — 20 points, 10 boards, 8 assists, 2 blocks

This (inserting Diaw into the starting lineup) was either a great coaching move by Mike D’Antoni, or simply a mental let down game for the Spiddurs. Game 5, back in San Anton, will clarify that. Regardless of whether or not it was a great move, or simply a move mandated by Grant Hill’s balky groin, it may be too little too late. The Spurs need to close this thing out in Game 5, though, or the Suns will enter back into official Red Giant status.

The Mailroom Supervisor’s Honey Of The Night:

And the H.O.N.nie goes to… Tayshaun Prince. “He’s on fire!”, says the MRSV. Yes, indeed. It was a good day for the MRSV, as her Pistons looked like they had their act together, at least in the 2nd half. Give the ball to Tayshaun! He seems to be their best offensive player, right now.

Straight Shots To The Dome Of The Night:

There were two Playoff-type flagrant fouls committed on Sunday, one by a superstar, and one on a superstar. During the first game of the day, the much hyped LeBron James vs. DeShawn Stevenson match-up was racheted up to yet another level, when DeShawn flagranted Bron-Bron. On a drive to the basket, it appeared DeShawn swung wildly at James’ head, knocking his headband off, and completely missing the ball. The Cavs were upset, and LeBron even mentioned, post-game, “If we was on the park, something definitely would have escalated”. Looking at the replays though, we are not sure of Stevenson’s intent. His play could easily be interpreted as a swipe at the ball that just missed, but the background between the two has people assuming the worst.

Later in the day, we had ourselves a TRUE flagrant. Late in yet another beat down at the hands of New Orleans, Jason Kidd let out all his frustrations, essentially palming Jannero Pargo’s head in the midst of a lay-up, and throwing him to the ground. Flagrant 2, ejection. Now THAT was gangsta.

In The Studio Of The Night:

Chris Webber is keeping it all the way real as the newest member of the best basketball show on TV, Inside The NBA. This would seem to be a “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” type situation, but with Knicks GM rumors swirling around Kenny Smith, maybe TNT is simply covering their bases. In his first night, C-Webb proved himself very capable, dropping relevant behind-the-scenes info on the Pistons, and even throwing most of the Mavs roster under the bus, claiming he would only want to go to war with two Mavs — Jason Kidd and Jerry Stackhouse. If they lose the Jet they will suffer on the X’s and O’s side of things, but they will be gaining a guy that is apparently not afraid to speak his mind. The old guard did not miss a chance to haze the studio rook, either, ending the night with funny jab at Webber’s infamous timeout situation in college.

Sam Vincent fired in Charlotte. Larry Brown waiting in the wings?… Hedo Turkoglu wins the “Most Improved Player” Award. Well-deserved… Pat Riley stepping down (again) as Heat head coach…

Line Of The Night AKA Near Oscar Robertson Of The Night:

Pau Gasol — 36 points, 16 boards, 8 assists, 3 blocks

Put one of the most talented post-men in an open gym by himself for about a half an hour, and he would probably put up a line a lot like this. He shot 14 of 20, and all of those might have been dunks. Enver takes bad defense to never seen before levels.

Beast Of The Night:

Dwight Howard — 25 points, 22 boards, 5 blocks, 2 assists, 1 steal

Howard dominated the paint in this opener, but the real story was Orlando’s 3-point shooters. It is hard to believe they will keep up their Game 1 pace, probably leading to a close series. As the “Great Toronto Point Guard Debate” continues, we have to weigh in on T.J. Ford’s side. Looking at pure stats, Jose Calderon seems like the man, but L.O.N. says T-Dot-O needs a balling Ford to win this series. He is the only cat that can get penetration, finish or create a shot. Calderon just cannot take over a game like Ford can, when at this best. With Howard most likely continuing to have an advantage over Bosh, Ford needs to step it up. And oh yeah… can Jason Kapono get some more shots, please? That goes for whoever is manning the point.

Near Ice Cube Of The Night:

Andre Iguodala — 16 points, 9 boards, 8 assists

Wow, and this was a bad game for him? Pistons fans worldwide better hope Detroit actually plays for 48 minutes in every game for the rest of this series. The Sixers did not even the play the best they can, and took a game in the Palace! It is amazing that the Pistons never learn. Year after year.

Fool’s Gold Of The Night:

Carmelo Anthony — 30 points, 12 boards, 3 assists, 2 steals, 1 block

Nice line, but we say he had a bad game. He went 11 of 26 from the field, largely because he just jacked up jump shots. Drive the ball! The Lakers are not exactly defensive masterminds themselves. Take advantage! On top of that, Anthony seemed to loosen up and really play well in garbage time. That is the opposite of clutch. And damn it… pass to J.R. Smith and Linas Kleiza. They were absolutely on fire, shooting a combined 15-21! J.R. Smith was so hot, he set the bus on fire on the way to the arena! Pass that rock.

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

THE POWE SHOW! On Josh “shock the world” Smith’s head. The only shocking tonight was to Smith’s system, as Powe got him and so did K.G. earlier in the game. On Sunday, he was definitely in the mood for dinner-time breakfast.

The Mailroom Supervisor’s H.O.N.nie Of The Night:

Shockingly, the award goes to Doc Rivers. The MRSV says: “He looks handsome in his Celtic green tie.” Wild.

Rookie Of The Night:

Al Horford — 20 points, 10 boards, 2 assists, 1 steal, 1 block

Elton Brand 2.0 did himself proud in Game 1 vs. Boston, surprisingly leading the Hawks in scoring. This team barely avoided contraction, and if they even want to come close in a single game this series, guys other than Horford and Joe Johnson are going to need to show up.

We do not even know what to say about whatever that weird coach moshpit was that George Karl held in the Denver locker room prior to the game… The Lakers fans broke out the “D-U-I” chants right away, for ‘Melo. Keep it classy, L.A…. Body By Jake in the house, next to Jack at the Staples Center!… Jeff Van Gundy is the best thing that ever happened to the Mike Breen broadcasting team. Not only is he hilarious, but any talk time that Breen loses, is a beautiful thing…

Waking up to the pedestrian voices of Rick Carlisle and Dave Pasch (who? what?), the L.O.N. offices had no idea what was in store for them. Even the disjointed first quarter of the Cavs/Wizards game belied the amazing that was about to happen over the course of the day.

Line Of The Night:

Tim Duncan — 40 points, 15 boards, 5 assists, 3 blocks, 1 steal

Who is the best player in the NBA, again? Who? Also, this game clarified a lot about the Spurs. They are definitely too old. Their window has closed.

Seriously though… if this series continues to play out like the first game, it is going to be beyond classic. But if the games are close like this, will it even be a contest? The Suns are not built for the clutch. The Nash/Stoudemire pick-and-roll proved highly effective throughout the game, but it is not really a “final shot” type play. They looked decent before Amare fouled out, but in total, 2 of their 4 clutch shots were taken by Boris Diaw and Leandro Barbosa. You tell us — who would you want shooting your clutch shots? Manu Ginobili, Michael Finley and Tim Duncan or Steve Nash, Diaw and Barbosa? The answer was obvious, in Game 1.

Near Jason Kidd Of The Night:

Jason Kidd — 11 points, 9 assists, 9 boards, 2 steals

Veteran 0, young gun 1. Kidd was pwned by CP3 (35/10/3) in this one. The team defense of Dallas as a whole is going to have to improve to contain the young fella. CP3 and the Hornets answered any and all questions about their legitimacy, while reminding us that regular season results in head-to-head match ups really do not matter. People put way too much stock in Dallas’ win earlier in the week, and way too LITTLE stock in their complete collapse in the Playoffs last year. It is interesting that they may have run into the rowdiest crowd of the Playoffs for the 2nd straight year, and it is even more interesting that Dirk is so worthless. Dirk and Dampier may be one of the weakest frontcourts on a supposed contender in NBA history. They have no answer for the Paul-to-Tyson-Chandler oop, and even Hilton Armstrong was catching a little wreck. Paging Desagana Diop… paging Desagana Diop…

Near Beast Of The Night:

Antawn Jamison — 23 points, 19 boards, 2 assists

24 shots though? Gilbert was 8-16 for 24 points, so he got his, but shouldn’t some of Jamison’s gone to Tough Juice? All-Star Caron Butler seemed very passive in this one, with a sub par 14 point night on 10 shots. He needs to take a cue from those Cleveland Playoff t-shirts and rise up if the Wiz want to win.

And what is up with Twantown absolutely losing his mind over some trivial pushing and shoving between LeBron and Brendan Haywood? That is a side of ‘Tawn with which we are not familiar. He is otherwise so calm and collected, coming across as downright distinguished in his interviews describing his early Playoff memories. He is clearly a nominee for a starring role in various NBA retrospectives in about 20 or 30 years — you know, the old cat reminiscing about the game, Black Magic style. But during that non-fight, he looked like Kurt Thomas had taken over his soul, eyes popping, arms flailing. At the beginning of the Spurs game, Thomas’ crazy eyes were rather calm… maybe his soul had not yet returned.

But on the reals… the Andray Blatche shot to LeBron’s face, followed by the non-fight, really seemed to shake the King out of a malaise. Ya’ll really need to let that man be.

The Mailroom Supervisor’s H.O.N.nie Of The Night:

And the H.O.N.nie goes too… a MRSV favorite, Gilbert Arenas. The MRSV: “Welcome back! Here comes trouble.”

Honorable Mention goes to a newcomer on the MRSV’s radar, Chris Paul, about whom she says: “He’s hot!”.

Ol’ Unfaithful Of The Night:

Andrei Kirilenko == 21 points, 4 boards, 3 assists, 2 steals, 1 block

Like clockwork, the Old Faithful geyser in Yellowstone National Park will erupt about every 60-90 minutes. Like clockwork, you never know what the hell Andrei Kirilenko is going to erupt for. Despite a very average second half of the regular season, AK47 came out on fire on Saturday, playing well in all phases of the game. You could see it immediately, as he ran out of the tunnel with a huge smile on his face. What in the hell… did he cash in his freebie card in the training room before the game? Whatever it is, the Jazz may actually need him to get through this series. The Rockets did not exactly play their best game — although it may have been all this group can muster — and T-Mac may not disappear in the 4th quarter in the rest of the games.

The HD Effect Of The Night:

When you see most of your basketball via the League Pass (not HD) on a TV meant for HD, as we here at L.O.N. do, you are often “treated” to game after game broadcasted with a very low picture quality. For certain teams (like the Wiz and the Hornets from today’s action, for example) that have few national HDTV appearances, this blurred/grainy image becomes part of the team. Then the Playoffs, where HD happens, start, and it is like a whole new world! We did not know what to do, today, with a HD quadruple-header — a marathon of basketball beauty. These blurred teams look like butterflies coming out of the cocoon. It is quite the phenomenon. We even thought we liked those black and gold Wizards joints.

In the clutch: Lebron 1, Gilbert 0. But that 3 at the end of the 1st quarter was sick… Somebody finally got the King some clippers for his sideline grooming!… How ridiculous is LeBron’s snow-white Maybach with the “KNG OF OH” license plate?… We obviously missed out on the details of the Cavs various trades this season. When did they acquire Frederick Douglass’ great-great-grandson?… Those were some big-ass Swooshes on Brendan Haywood’s Nikes… Michael Jordan “Maybe It’s My Fault” ad. Classic… GILBERT FOR 3!!!… VAN-GUN-DY! VAN-GUN-DY! VAN-GUN-DY!… Tony Parker, Jacque Vaughn and Boris Diaw. One of these things is not like the other one, but they are still the French Connection… Michael Finley looks like his barber took it just a little bit too high… D-Wade and Star Jones?… The Peja heads!… WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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