L.O.N.

As seen on SLAMOnline:

Line Of The Night:

Dwyane Wade — 40 points, 11 assists, 5 blocks, 1 steal

We dare you to watch a Miami Heat home game and not end up walking around all night yelling, Dwyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade.  Supposedly Chris Bosh called up his director immediately after hearing about this L.O.N.nie, in order to work on a protest documentary.  “But L.O.N., I scored 40 last night, and I didn’t get it cause we lost.  Now you rub it in my face by giving it to a guy my team beats?  It’s not fair.”  Il Mago was our second choice.  Happy?  Didn’t think so.

Worst Of The Night:

David Stern… The League… OKC’s owners… whoever… You replace the Seattle Supersonics, one of the storied franchises in the NBA, with this joke?  The Thunder?  That is an absurd name.  Their court looks like a circus tent.  Over half their roster belongs in the D-League.  What a debacle.

Amazing sub-fact:  they printed and sold t-shirts to commemorate the first meeting between the Clippers and Thunder in OKC!  Speechless.  Fill in your own punchline here.

Beast Of The Night:

Andrew Bogut — 20 boards, 16 points, 3 assists, 1 block

There is some suuurrrous rebounding going down this season.  Bogut probably needed a few less boards though, and a few more makes, since they took an L to the Jazz.

Near Jason Kidd Of The Night:

Joe Johnson — 19 points, 8 boards, 8 assists, 2 blocks, 1 steal

It was a struggle for Joe all night — 7 turnovers, 7-22 shooting — until winning time, that is.  Then he did what he does, and the Hawks put away the hapless Wizards.  It also helped that in the last two minutes, the Wiz forgot that Caron Butler was on their team and Nick Young played as nervous as a wet cat.

Also, Marvin Williams.  That’s because we love him and his team is better than Chris Paul’s (right now).

Near Beast Of The Night:

Zaza Pachulia — 18 boards, 4 points, 4 assists, 1 steal

If Zaza — playing with essentially one arm, no less — is nearly beasting fools, then we are really starting to believe Brendan Haywood is Washington’s missing link.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Chicago Bulls, 74 points vs. Portland

Only 74 AND you lose by 42?  You were down by 20+ at the half and needed only 43 to break 80.  Have some pride guys.  There is physically and mentally no way Portland’s D was as intense in the second half.  Shouldn’t the bench guys want to get some shine?  Are they simply that terrible?  Vinny the Black?  What do you have to say?

Thief In The Night Of The Night:

Cuttino Mobley — 23 points, 7 steals, 2 boards

And these weren’t handed to him, or even the “cheating in the passing lane” variety.  These were legit, “run your jewels, son!” jacks, mostly on Kevin Durant.  Young fella is going to have review the film and tweak his turn-and-face after all these Mobley rips.  Durant got him back a little though.  Tim Thomas pulled the “Kobe in the Olympics vs. Rudy” defensive strategy of forcing his man baseling with no help in site.  Durant accepted the invitation and BOOM — dunk mouth.  No breakfast served though, as Mobley deftly avoided the meal, sort of flying by with his arms straightup, with a very frightened look on his face.  And one last thing… no decent barber in OKC, Kevin?  We’re just sayin’.

Lorinza “Junior” Harrington.  Don’t ever forget… What is Lindsey Hunter doing in a Bulls uniform?  Did he miss Big Ben?… Has A.I. rejuvenated ‘Sheed?  The Pistons took down the Cavs in a nice little post-season preview, last night… What’s up, N’awlins?  Sacto?  Really?… It was great to see Josh Smith so excited on the bench during the Hawks win.  Get better and get back on the court!…

As seen on SLAMOnline:

Line Of The Night:

Dwight Howard — 30 points, 19 boards, 10 blocks, 3 assists

That speaks for itself.  Beastaculous.  The real big man story in this Magic/Thunder game, though, was Robert Swift’s shocking makeover.  He went from the stringy, long-hair/slacker/skater/rocker look, to the product-induced, kinda short, metro mohawk look.   Odd.

Worst Of The Night:

There are probably a bunch of Lakers fans out there wondering why there is so little L.O.N. coverage of the only remaining undefeated team (the Ceatles made sure of that, taking down the Hawks in a thriller last night) thus far this year.  A team who, after all, features the Official Player of L.O.N., and Revolutionary Team Captain, Lamar Odom A.K.A. L-Eezy.  Well, first of all, L-Eezy isn’t exactly a featured member of that stacked team; he’s only cracked the 30 minute mark once.  Second of all, there is our well-chronicled history with the Kobster, A.K.A. Kobe Cryant.  But that is not even the deal-breaker.  Mr. Cryant is one of those “love to hate types”, and without our Mamba animosity, how could we love Kevin Garnet, J.R. Smith and Travis Outlaw so damn much?  Yin and Yang, ya’ll.  No, the straw that breaks the Lakers’ back is none other than Joel Meyers.  We literally cannot stand listening to the man talk for more than 23 seconds.  It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard meets a jackhammer to the abdomen.  A nuclear explosion of excruciating pain and irritance.  Give us national Lakers coverage, or our dawg Ralph Lawler calling an intra-city match, and we’ll be there for ya’ll.  Until then, though, it’s boxscores and boxscores only.

Near Ice Cube Of The Night:

Andre Iguodala — 18 points, 10 assists, 9 boards

This performance against the T-Dot marks three straight all-around games from the Other A.I. (Can we call him something else, though?  What?  An excruciating debate took place in the L.O.N. offices over this, and it remains unresolved), and with him rolling like this and Elton Brand having his best game of the season (25/8), the Sixers showed signs of living up to the hype last night.

T.J. Ford — 18 points, 9 assists, 8 boards, 3 steals

All you internet stat heads can rave all you want about Jose Calderon this, and assist-plus-minus-percentage-ratio that, but if the ball dropped on the court tomorrow, and L.O.N. had to pick somebody to run our squad?  T.J. Ford, all day, ereday.  A healthy (ok, that’s a big if, we admit) T.J. Ford can DOMINATE a game, and that is just what he did last night in Dirty Jerse.

Brad Miller — 16 points, 11 boards, 8 assists, 1 steal, 1 block

BRAD MIZZLE!  One country boy center dominates another (Chris Kaman).

Contraction Club Of The Night:

San Antonio Spurs, 78 points vs. the Milwaukee Bucks

This is a legit contraction scenario.  Off their current roster, you throw Tim Duncan and a couple other guys into a contraction draft and poof… it’s like they never existed.

The Mailroom Supervisor’s Honey Of The Night:

Amare Stoudemire — The MRSV says: “Nice scarf!  The wink, and he’s smiling and giving me googley eyes.”

About 4 years ago, the infamous Malice In The Palace went down.  Call it ugly, call it what you want, but we call it entertaining and have never pretended not to love any level of NBA skirmish, fight or brawl.  Last night’s Houston/Phoenix game gave us a little something something.

Matt Barnes set it off with an out-of-nowhere forearm shiver to Skip-To-My-Lou, who was about to set a standard high screen on Barnes.  From there an amorphous scrum broke out.  The whole thing was basically a lot of big guys pushing on little guys.  Barnes pushes Rafer Alston, then McGradles shoves lil’ Stevie Nash, then Big Shaq shoved every-damn-body.  While Barnes and Alston were initially separated, they almost managed to get back at each other right near the court side seats.  Suns coach Terry Porter managed to get in between them though, before it got really Bubba Sparxxx.  Other than those two guys, McGradles was the most heated, probably because he saw the initial cheap shot on his teammate.  He was ready to “ride together”, ala S-Jax back in ‘04, but he had Luis Scola to hold him back (word to big man peacemakers).  Ironically this whole thing was probably one idiot Pistons fan and a Ron Artest moment from getting extra out of hand, and guess who happened to be on the Rockets’ bench?

A logical question might be, “Why did Matt Barnes lick that initial shot on Skip?  Was there some sort of pretext?”.  Good luck with that.  Watching him over the years, we’ve seen that he has a temper, pure and simple.  He has never been afraid to lick a shot, and only Pac knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men.

Jermaine O’Neal two straight double-doubles, two straight losses.  Coincidence?… Nice to see Greg Oden make it through a game, and even have a few nice plays (a dunk and a couple blocks)… Wilson who?…

As seen on SLAMOnline.

Line Of The Night:

Tony Parker — 55 points, 10 assists, 7 boards

Get your shine on, get your shine on, all day long, Tony, get your shine on!  Possibly because he’s not a “pure” point and because he has two star teammates in Tim Duncan and Manu Ginobili, the French Pastry is left out of the “best point guard in the game” arguments, time after time after time.  But guess what — your boy does in fact play point guard, regardless of his pureness, he has won three chips, and now, with this double-nickel performance, joined a club which previously only had two members — Michael Jordan and Oscar Robertson.  Come on ya’ll, he’s in the conversation.  Just ask Randy Foye and Corey Brewer, two guys that will probably get a little sick to their stomach at even the sight of a croissant, in the future.

Honorable Mention Of The Night:

Amare Stoudemire — 49 points, 11 boards, 6 assists, 5 steals, 2 blocks

LeBron James — 41 points, 9 boards, 6 assists, 4 steals

Sorry guys.  It was looking good early, for one of you, then “Minnesota finds a million ways not to close out the Spurs” happened.  Double OT = double-nickel.

Worst Of The Night:

This is not a good sign for the Charlotte Larry Brown Era:

“Jared! Jared!” Brown yelled down the bench, looking for forward Jared Dudley.  “He’s in the game,” one player called back.

No further comment necessary.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

New Orleans, 79 points vs. the ATLiens

Did we mention this was in New Orleans?  That’s a nice road win, Atlanta.  Looks like Dem Georgia Boys did not get complacent after their playoff run-in with the Ceatles last season and are bringing the D this year.  They have yet to give up more than 90 points in a game, and are now undefeated at 3-0.  Could this be your Southeast Division title winners?

Thanks, But I’ll Keep My Job Of The Night:

Luke Ridnour — 20 points, 11 assists, 7 boards, 2 steals

Right after we called for his job, Ridnour shows us why it is in fact, his job, in a 112-104 OT win over Washington.  His P-N-C Ramon Sessions had a 22/8 night, as well, so maybe Washington needs to work on that perimeter defender?  Stopping the ball is usually a good idea.

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

During the 4th quarter of the Denver/G-State game, Andris Biedrins dribbled the ball near center court.  He found Captain Jack at the high post, then received the ball back on the ol’ give-and-go, guarded by Nene.  He somehow made a quick dash back into the Oracle’s kitchen, then BAAAAAM!!!!  “HAVE SOME OF THESE LATVIAN BACON CREPES, NENE!!!!!!  Do they have those in Brazil, playa?”

Nene made quick work of his meal, then kindly left a tip — the and-1 foul.

D-Wade was 2 blocks away from 5×5 glory… Kelenna Azubuike had a ridic block on a Dahntay Jones dunk attempt.  Dude never did like breakfast… MJ and Ahmad courtside together in the Garden?  We know somebody has a punch line for that…  How is it humanly possible, in a Mike D’Antoni offense, for a guy to score 24 points on 9-12 shooting in the 1st half of a game, and then take 0 shots in the second half?  Nate Robinson pulled it off, last night, somehow… Another terrible game for the Clip Joint.  They drop to 0-5 after succumbing to a late 22-0 run by the Lakers…

As seen on SLAMOnline.com.

Line Of The Night:

Gerald Wallace — 34 points, 9 boards, 3 assists, 3 blocks, 2 steals

Nice line for Wallace, as he led the Bobcats to a win in their home opener against the Miami Heat, who, by the way, may be the early candidate for worst defensive team in the league.  You know your D is bad when Wallace’s normally scary J turns wet.  However, what may be even more foreboding, is the Brown Ultimatum brewing in the Queen City.  Larry Brown.  Shannon Brown.  Andre Brown.  MJ’s camel brown blazer.  Beware.

Worst Of The Night:

Jamal Crawford — 4 assists, 1 point on 0-6 shooting

Oh no.

Beast Of The Night:

Drew Gooden — 20 boards, 7 points, 3 blocks, 2 assists

And you thought we were talking about the baldy/sideburns/upside down fire flames beard look!  The truly special aspect of this Grizzlies/Bulls game was Derrick Rose, though.  Kid is ridic.  It’s about to be a unanimous R.O.Y. situation.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

OKC, 77 points, Saturday vs. Houston

So we lied.  We have now DVRed and watched at least portions of two OKC games, and that definitely refutes bottom 4 League Pass status.  The fact is, the Kevin Durant intrigue is still there.  Games like this won’t help though, and hearing the name “Thunder” is still annoying.  Cornball.  However, on Sunday against the T-Wolves, when they secured their first franchise win, Durant may have discovered a true P-N-C, in Russell Westbrook.  That does help.

Boston Celtics, 79 points, Saturday vs. Inidana

Ah, yes.  Now we start to see the anticipated championship hangover.  This is perhaps an early sign that the Ceatles will not be the same regular season juggernaut of last year.  Not saying they won’t be there when it matters this spring, but that #1 seed may be worth gunning for by the East’s common folk.

Clip Joint, 79 points, Saturday vs. Utah

Ugh.  As if to immediately prove all the cynics right, B-Diddy and Marcus Camby are already missing games and the Clippers are a mess.  Please fellas, L.A. needs a hoops alternative.  Ralph Lawler deserves better.

6th Man Of The Night:

James Posey — 15 points, 6 boards, 4 steals, 2 assists

That’s why they signed him.  In one of the first “Finals Preview” type games of the season, the Hornets took down the Cavs 104-92, on Saturday.  The Hornets stars were major, but it was the Posey Show in the 4th quarter, as he hit clutch shots and helped limit Bron to 15 points on 40% shooting.  His march to Robert Horry status has begun.

Marbury in G-State?  Let’s make it happen.  Crazy loves crazy… Speaking of crazy, Mike Beasley loves the jumpshot.  Is he the modern Glenn Robinson?… Oh, and speaking of crazy, when Shawn Marion left Phoenix, did he steal the souls of Raja Bell and Leandro Barbosa?  Or are those guys the basketball equivalent of the Steve Spurrier-coached Florida QBs of the 90s — good in a specific system but straight pedestrian outside of it?…  Maybe we’re crazy, but what more does Ramon Sessions have to do to beat out Luke Ridnour for the starting job?… The Nets organization is definitely not crazy for re-uniting the Czar and Marv on their local telecasts… And back to crazy. Coach Adelman, sir, Yao and McGrady are still in the game with under 2 minutes and a double-digit lead and no sign of life from the Thunder?  My leg, my back, my leg and my back…

As seen on SLAMOnline.com:

Line Of The Night:

Jamal Crawford — 29 points, 4 boards, 4 assists, 1 steal

An L.O.N. Revolutionary does this in his home opener at The Garden?  It’s a wrap, J-Creezy, here’s your first L.O.N.nie of the year.

Worst Of The Night:

Al Harrington — 13 points on 5-17 shooting

When it rains, it pours.  In the midst of demanding a trade, Al drops this clunker on opening night;  a night when he could have secured a big win for his Warriors, over the Hornets, if a couple more of those shots had fallen.  The interesting part about this Nellie/Harrington drama is Nellie’s propensity to dog guys out in the media and/or isolate them to a far end of the bench.  He has not done that with Al, in this case, so it makes us wonder what the beef is from Al’s side.  He gets total free rein in a run-and-gun offense, and huge minutes.  What more does he want?

Injury Of The Night:

Greg Oden — 1 sprained foot

The big fella projects to miss 2-4 weeks due to this latest setback.  The moans coming from the ghosts of Bill Walton and Sam Bowie just reached a deafening, shrill pitch in the halls of the Rose Garden.  There is at least one piece of good news out of all this, for the rest of us, though.  Since he notched a game played this season, at least we won’t have to hear every pundit next pre-season saying, “You know what, Bob, Greg Oden is actually still eligible for the Rookie Of The Year”.  Oh the simple pleasures.

Rookie Of The Night:

Mario Chalmers — 17 points, 8 assists, 7 boards

Almost a Near Triple-Double performance in his debut?  We guess the Chris Quinn Era was very short-lived, although the no D style of D’Antoni’s Knicks may have played a big part in this line.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Memphis Grizzlies, 71 points vs. Houston

Contract and disperse, Commissioner Stern!  Houston forced O.J. Mayo into a horrendous 5-20 shooting night, showing they definitely are still bringing the D.  Memphis can take a quantum of solace in the double-double of rookie double-doubles from big men Marc Gasol and Darrell Arthur.

L.A. Clip Joint, 79 points vs. the Lake Show

B-Diddy and Al Thornton gave the Clippers fans a few moments of excitement, but it looks like the honeymoon is already over for the Staples Center’s other tenants.  Marcus Camby alone won’t cure whatever causes a 38 point loss!

Chant Of The Night:

HAQ-A-SHAQ!  HAQ-A-SHAQ!  HAQ-A-SHAQ!

Chant Of The Night Part II:

We want Steph!  We want Steph!  We want Steph!

Really?  Did ya’ll miss the past few years?  A new coach comes in with a new system, gets a win over a supposed, one-time rival, and ya’ll want Steph?  Yeah… it’s true… hell… why not?  WE WANT STEPH!

Pharrell Of The Night:

Do the Knicks now officially lead the League in neck tattoos?  They have at least three in Starbury, Wilson Chandler, and E-City.  Phoenix (Matt Barnes and Amare) and Denver (A.I. and J.R. Smith) are both right there with at least two.  Does Melo have one?  Birdman?  Is this a League-sanctioned stat, yet?  J.J. Redick may have the only under-arm tattoo, if that counts.

Jermaine O’Neal decent in his Toronto debut w/ 17 and 8.  Let’s hope that knee is read for at least 82 games… Willie Green with 3 blocks?  How did that happen?… Toronto needs to dead those black unis… Free Russell Westbrook!… The Mohawk officially did NOT go out of style over the off-season.  Check the domes of Shawn Marion, Nick Young, D-Wade, Craig Smith, and Kevin Martin, just to name a few… Amare Stoudemire in those glasses is awesome…  We’ve always loved when the entire three point area on the court is a different color.  Minnesota has implemented that, but that floor may have too much other stuff going on… Red-heads growing their hair out, alert:  Delonte West and Michael Beasley… Is there a story behind Boobie Gibson’s shaved-into-the-head Batman logo?  Anyone?  Anyone?…

Every game last night involving at least one Western Conference team ended up with a double-digit margin of victory.  Things that make you go hmmmmm…

Line Of The Night:

Mike Bibby — 26 points, 12 assists, 6 boards, 3 steals

The difference.  After beating the Raptors last night in OT, the Hawks have now won 5 straight, and seem very likely to make the Playoffs.  Bibby has been exactly the stabilizing force A-T-L expected when they traded for him.  This win did not come without controversy, though, as a T.J. Ford game-winning shot at the end of regulation was said to come after the buzzer.  However, replays seem to show that the clock was started a little to soon on the play.  Could we have a SECOND A-T-Lien game this season protested and re-played?  Teams like Dirty Jerse, Indy and The Chi, with Playoff hopes still alive, probably hope so.  You know what they say… if you ain’t cheatin’, you aint’ tryin’.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Indiana Pacers, 77 points vs. Boston Celtics

Playas and playettes, welcome to the 1st Round of the Eastern Conference Playoffs!  This game paired with A-T-L’s 5th straight win actually puts Indy 4 games out, but still, even if it’s the Hawks, the 1st Round could have a lot of games this nasty.

Miami Heat, 77 points vs. New Orleans Hornets

If this team really was contracted tomorrow, it’s possible literally none of their active players would be picked up by anyone else in the league.

Back In The Hizzouse Part I Of The Night:

Gilbert Arenas — 20 minutes, 17 points, 2 assists, 1 board

Controversy always surrounds Agent 0.  His first game back coincided with a blown 4th quarter lead to the lowly Bucks, who pulled off an unlikely win after relative unknown point guard Ramon Sessions hit a buzzer-beater.  Of all the players coming back, Arenas wins the award for most likely to be more trouble than he’s worth… at least that’s the perception.

Back In The Hizzouse Part II Of The Night:

Dirk Nowitzki — 18 points, 5 boards, 1 block

His line was decent, but he seemed to have more of a “Willis Reed In The Finals” effect on this game, inspiring his team to a superb effort.  The Mavs absolutely crushed the Warriors, knocking them out of the Playoffs for the time being.  This was the most bizarre of all the comebacks, as the Mavs fronted the whole day as if Dirk wasn’t playing, only to have him in the starting lineup at game time.  How bizarre… what a terrible song.

Back In The Hizzouse Part III Of The Night:

Elton Brand — 19 points, 5 boards, 3 assists, 1 steal, 1 block

Robot or man?  After missing the first 74 games of the season, Brand stepped onto the court against the Sonics last night as if nothing had happened.  His machine-like efficiency is back in full m-f-ing effizzect.  Clip Joint for mayor.

Back In The Hizzouse Part IV Of The Night:

Pau Gasol — 10 points, 7 assists, 6 boards, 1 steal, 1 block

We smell conspiracy.  C-O-N-spiracy!  Why the hell did all these guys came back on the same night?  Call David Stern!  Call the FBI!  We want answers!

Rookie Of The Night:

Javaris Crittenton — 23 points, 9 boards, 4 assists, 1 steal

The rook went for a career-high against the… oh, it was the Knicks, so this may actually count as an exhibition or something.  And you thought the NY Gods had mailed it in before?  Just watch ‘em now that Isiah Thomas is REALLY a lame duck coach after the hiring of Donnie Walsh.

Bored Miami Heat announcer dropped this gem after a failed Julian Wright tip dunk attempt: “Third of the flying Wright Brothers — Julian Wright!”… The Play Of The Night was definitely Rudy Gay’s and-1, which he tossed up from BEHIND the backboard.  No UCLA rule in Memphis, either, we guess… G-G-G-G-G-UUUUUUU-NIIT!

Vegas. March Madness. House guests. Yeah, at L.O.N. we make excuses. We know ya’ll are feeling L.O.N.nie withdrawal, but want to know the real reason we’re back? The Charlotte Bobcats just won 3 straight road games on the West Coast! A higher power is definitely telling us something. And the time for our Chris Paul for MVP campaign is waning.

Line Of The Night:

LeBron James — 26 points, 9 boards, 9 assists, 3 steals, 1 block

This came vs. Philly in the 2nd of a back-to-back. Following a horrid Saturday night (see below) for the Cavs, Sunday saw them get back on track with a win over the young upstart of the Eastern Conference.

Jason Kidd Of The Night:

Caron Butler — 17 points, 12 boards, 12 assists, 2 steals, 1 block

Looks like when/if Gilbert comes back, he will be coming back to Caron’s team. Butler has his imprint all over this Wizards squad now, and it was almost enough to take down the Kobster and the Lakers on Sunday night. The Lake Show ended up having just enough to close out a 6-point OT win.

Near Jason Kidd Of The Night:

Jason Kidd — 14 assists, 13 points, 9 boards, 1 steal

An aging Kidd is a prime example of why Kenny Smith pays stat sheets no attention. For Kidd the triple-doubles (especially when playing in Oaktown!) flow like water, but the wins flow like molasses; there is no longer a correlation between the two. The 114-104 Warriors win left the West’s playoff race in perhaps it’s most muddled state to date. These two squads and the Nuggets now find themselves locked in a dead 3-way tie for 7-9 spots, but in 3 distinct spots on the momentum chart — Mavs sinking, Nuggets rising, and Warriors sitting right where they have been all year.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Miami Heat, 62 vs. Boston Celtics

There is really no polite way to describe what is going on with the Heat right now, so we will stick to the facts. Kasib Powell played 40 minutes. Blake Ahearn, Joel Anthony and Stephane Lasem all played 20+. The team shot 28.8%, making only 17 field goals. Rob Bironas might have had more than that for the Titans in one game this past NFL season.

Cleveland Cavaliers, 71 vs. Detroit Pistons

The Pistons have been teetering a bit, of late, but it appears when they are fully focused, they are still the same ol’ Stones. Remember this, though: Detroit has not one a title since the departure of Mehmet Okur. And that’s real.

Rookie Of The Night:

Al Thornton — 39 points, 5 steals, 3 boards, 2 assists.

He lit up the Grizz (okay, that might just downplay the whole issue), showing that the Clip Joint may have found the best pure scorer in the history of their organization. That’s an “off the top of the dome” comment, but if it’s not true, we’d love to hear the other challengers. Terry Dehere? A 50 year-old ‘Nique? The Polish Rifle in his prime?

We still don’t really know what David West does, but damn if he doesn’t have 30 and 10 at the end of the night more often than you’d think… The Spurs won their 7th straight, resurrecting themselves from the media’s graveyard for the 2nd time this season… Rashad McCants for 6th Man Of The Year in 2008-2009. Get your campaign contributions in, now… Surprise, surprise. Now Derek Fisher has an injury excuse just like his good friend and P-N-C Kobe…

Line Of The Night:

Baron Davis — 38 points, 9 boards, 8 assists, 3 steals, 1 block

What a stark contrast to watch the Warriors and Suns play after two straight days of college basketball tourneys.  These pros are good.  Boom Dizzle had it all going last night, but his teammates seemed to run out of juice in the 2nd night of a back-to-back, against Phoenix.  Looks like the Suns are starting to figure this Shaq thing out.

Beast Of The Night:

Josh Smith — 22 boards, 16 points, 2 assists, 2 steals, 1 block

The rare small forward beast.  The sick part is, his potential is barely tapped since it’s unclear how much ethic and basketball IQ he has.  Imagine the possibilities of Smith with Tyler Hansbrough’s mentality?

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Atlanta Hawks, 75 points vs. the Houston Rockets

No wonder Smith had so many boards… the A-T-Liens couldn’t shoot!  But that’s what happens when you go up against the Houston juggernaut!  What a great story.  The team is displaying the camaraderie of a college Cinderella (even though Jordan is telling us there is no Cinderella) team and it’s just fun to watch.  The Rockets could potentially get the #1 seed in the West!  20-0.  McGradles for MVP!?!??!?!

San Antonio Spurs, 75 points vs. the New Orleans Hornets

David West came back with a vengeance, dropping 29 and 10 on the heads of the reigning champs.  Give Manu the ball!  He only had 11 points on 5-10 shooting.

The Unpaid Intern On Location Of The Night:

Editor’s Note:  Sorry for delay in publishing this, but it’s karma.  The Unpaid Intern should not have waited so late in the season to go to an NBA game.

Friday, March 7, 2008, Madison Square Garden, NYC — There will never be a day when “I just got 10th row tickets to the Knicks game” will come as bad news.  In fact, it will always be great news–especially when the Knicks are hosting the Detroit Pistons.  Our seats were behind the basket, just about eye-level with the players.  Free and great. There were plenty of Pistons fans in attendance, although we can’t claim to have had any sort of faux home court advantage like the L.O.N. C.E.O. witnessed at the Clipper’s game.  After one of our Deeeee-troit Baaaaaasket-ball calls, one Knicks fan told us to go back to Detroit.  That’s fun.

The night started off with one bad and one good surprise.  The good was that newly acquired Piston Theo Ratliff was not only suited up, but starting.  The bad was that there was no sign of Rasheed Wallace. So unlike the L.O.N. C.E.O., we were not privy to Sheed’s infamous pre-game dance ritual–which would have been right by us.  The team still did some kind of dance-huddle, but it wasn’t the same.  As a big Rasheed fan, it was a pretty big disappointment for him to have the night off for what will probably be the only Piston’s game I’ll see in person this year.

The Pistons started out cold, perhaps still feeling whatever it was that led to that terrible game against Boston.  But soon enough the score was tied, then the Stones were up by 15 and the world seemed right.  The Knicks fought hard until the end though, and were within striking distance.  But when you’re sending Chauncey to the line at the end, you can pretty much take the W to the bank.

The Billups-Crawford match-up was fun to watch.  J-Creezy can ball, too bad he plays for a terrible team/organization right now.  Rip got tossed, like an idiot, for running his mouth.  If there’s one thing we’d like to see the Pistons do, it’s button those lips and just play basketball.  Detroit is a tough as nails, blue collar city, not a crybaby blabbermouth town.  Get it right.  Watching Eddy Curry play makes me wonder how many guys in the league don’t really enjoy basketball.  Sometimes it seems like Curry is only out there because he happens to be a giant and it’s a good way to make a living.  He looks sad and bored and like he’d rather be somewhere else.  Never a good look when you’re a cornerstone of the franchise.  And I think that if I were a Knicks fan, I would want to vomit every time I saw Renaldo Balkman.  Ugh.

Perhaps the best part of the night, for me as a Piston fan, was seeing the young guns out there.  The trio of Amir Johnson, Jason Maxiell and Rodney Stuckey looked solid.  They still need a few years, but there’s the young core of a possible future dynasty there.  It was the first time I’d really seen Stuckey play and it looks like he’s got “it” — that confidence and killer instinct, coupled with superb athletic ability.  Sometimes you see a rookie out there, looking timid and unsure (see Dorell Wright’s first three years).  Stuckey had none of that hesitation; I think he’s going to be a special player.  And that’s not to take anything away from Amir, who could grow into a possible Amare-style beast, and Maxiell, who has already shown that his grit and hustle transitions to the NBA game.

In famous person news, there were numerous NY Rangers seated in the front row near us, as well as fan-favorite and former Red Wing Brendan Shanahan.  Spike Lee was in attendance, as usual, and even got involved by standing up and shagging down a ball, talking some smack as he handed it back to the ref.  And Aaron Ross, rookie DB for the Super Bowl Champion Giants got an ovation and was mobbed for autographs by kids as he made his way down the aisle.

The Garden is such a great atmosphere, it’s too bad Isiah and James Dolan have basically ruined that team.

Pistons win in a game that was much closer than it should have been.  101-97.

Green-on-green crime:  Boston stomps Seattle 111-82… Philly will play anyone, anywhere, anytime.  Wednesday they knocked off the Pistons in the Palace… Tough Juice back in the house.  Caron Butler scores 19 and gets a win for Washington, over Cleveland, in his return to the lineup… Bruce Bowen suspended for Friday’s game, after hitting Chris Paul with his leg on Wednesday.  This ends the current longest consecutive games played streak at 500… Smush Parker, back in business after signing with the Clip Joint.  Maybe they read our Dickau rant!… LeBron James becomes only the third man to ever appear on Vogue, AND he’s moving in on Tom Brady’s woman!