L.O.N.

Line Of The Night:

Kobe Bryant — 31 points, 7 boards, 6 assists, 3 steals, 2 blocks

Sick, sick, sick. The most-likely MVP did it all, as the Lakers pulled out the brooms on the Nuggets. A lot of focus was placed on the mess that is the Denver Nuggets, but is it possible the Lakers are simply really, really good?

Either way, put a fork in the Nuggets. Did this series show their true spirit? Or was it an aberration? A.I. seemed sour and cranky for the whole series, while Melo was almost the complete opposite… seemingly too relaxed. The one positive for them may be J.R. Smith’s series. He seemed focused and stepped it up on the big stage. Can he transfer that to an 82-game season, though? We just hope he keeps launching from 28 feet!

Beast Of The Night:

Dwight Howard — 21 boards, 21 points, 3 blocks, 2 assists

It took them 5 games to the Lakers’ 4, but chronologically, this effort from Superman made the Magic the first team to advance to the second round, as they knocked off the Raptors. They can now sit back and watch the Pistons struggle to knock off the Sixers for at least 2 more games. As for the Raptors? Let the “Fire Sam Mitchell” chants rain down. This team “talented” their way into the Playoffs, never really figuring out their identity. With the roster pieces they have, and no clear problem to point the finger at, they should have been more competitive than they showed in this serie.

Johnson And Smith Of The Night:

Joe Johnson — 35 points, 6 assists, 1 board

Josh Smith — 28 points, 7 blocks, 6 boards, 2 steals, 2 assists

ALL of the 4th quarter points for the A-T-Liens? How do the supposedly defensive-minded Celtics give up 32 points in the 4th, and all of them by only 2 players? Seems like Doc gets some blame for this. He doubled Joe late, but it should have come earlier. And in a separate mistake, why was he not going offense/defense, consistently, at point guard? Sam mad a great offensive play when he was in there… then he got benched.

Josh Smith is about to superstar this league, by the way.

You Reach, I Teach Of The Night:

Whatever Joe Johnson did to Leon Powe last night… it is illegal in 17 states. Does he have a Rasheed Wallace mentality? Is he the type of guy that just does not want to be the superstar every night, and would rather fit in with the team?

The Mailroom Supervisor’s Honey Of The Night: 

Chris Webber — The MRSV says: “He looks nice.  Welcome to the team!”

Line Of The Night AKA Near Oscar Robertson Of The Night:

Pau Gasol — 36 points, 16 boards, 8 assists, 3 blocks

Put one of the most talented post-men in an open gym by himself for about a half an hour, and he would probably put up a line a lot like this. He shot 14 of 20, and all of those might have been dunks. Enver takes bad defense to never seen before levels.

Beast Of The Night:

Dwight Howard — 25 points, 22 boards, 5 blocks, 2 assists, 1 steal

Howard dominated the paint in this opener, but the real story was Orlando’s 3-point shooters. It is hard to believe they will keep up their Game 1 pace, probably leading to a close series. As the “Great Toronto Point Guard Debate” continues, we have to weigh in on T.J. Ford’s side. Looking at pure stats, Jose Calderon seems like the man, but L.O.N. says T-Dot-O needs a balling Ford to win this series. He is the only cat that can get penetration, finish or create a shot. Calderon just cannot take over a game like Ford can, when at this best. With Howard most likely continuing to have an advantage over Bosh, Ford needs to step it up. And oh yeah… can Jason Kapono get some more shots, please? That goes for whoever is manning the point.

Near Ice Cube Of The Night:

Andre Iguodala — 16 points, 9 boards, 8 assists

Wow, and this was a bad game for him? Pistons fans worldwide better hope Detroit actually plays for 48 minutes in every game for the rest of this series. The Sixers did not even the play the best they can, and took a game in the Palace! It is amazing that the Pistons never learn. Year after year.

Fool’s Gold Of The Night:

Carmelo Anthony — 30 points, 12 boards, 3 assists, 2 steals, 1 block

Nice line, but we say he had a bad game. He went 11 of 26 from the field, largely because he just jacked up jump shots. Drive the ball! The Lakers are not exactly defensive masterminds themselves. Take advantage! On top of that, Anthony seemed to loosen up and really play well in garbage time. That is the opposite of clutch. And damn it… pass to J.R. Smith and Linas Kleiza. They were absolutely on fire, shooting a combined 15-21! J.R. Smith was so hot, he set the bus on fire on the way to the arena! Pass that rock.

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

THE POWE SHOW! On Josh “shock the world” Smith’s head. The only shocking tonight was to Smith’s system, as Powe got him and so did K.G. earlier in the game. On Sunday, he was definitely in the mood for dinner-time breakfast.

The Mailroom Supervisor’s H.O.N.nie Of The Night:

Shockingly, the award goes to Doc Rivers. The MRSV says: “He looks handsome in his Celtic green tie.” Wild.

Rookie Of The Night:

Al Horford — 20 points, 10 boards, 2 assists, 1 steal, 1 block

Elton Brand 2.0 did himself proud in Game 1 vs. Boston, surprisingly leading the Hawks in scoring. This team barely avoided contraction, and if they even want to come close in a single game this series, guys other than Horford and Joe Johnson are going to need to show up.

We do not even know what to say about whatever that weird coach moshpit was that George Karl held in the Denver locker room prior to the game… The Lakers fans broke out the “D-U-I” chants right away, for ‘Melo. Keep it classy, L.A…. Body By Jake in the house, next to Jack at the Staples Center!… Jeff Van Gundy is the best thing that ever happened to the Mike Breen broadcasting team. Not only is he hilarious, but any talk time that Breen loses, is a beautiful thing…

Line Of The Night:

Baron Davis — 38 points, 9 boards, 8 assists, 3 steals, 1 block

What a stark contrast to watch the Warriors and Suns play after two straight days of college basketball tourneys.  These pros are good.  Boom Dizzle had it all going last night, but his teammates seemed to run out of juice in the 2nd night of a back-to-back, against Phoenix.  Looks like the Suns are starting to figure this Shaq thing out.

Beast Of The Night:

Josh Smith — 22 boards, 16 points, 2 assists, 2 steals, 1 block

The rare small forward beast.  The sick part is, his potential is barely tapped since it’s unclear how much ethic and basketball IQ he has.  Imagine the possibilities of Smith with Tyler Hansbrough’s mentality?

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Atlanta Hawks, 75 points vs. the Houston Rockets

No wonder Smith had so many boards… the A-T-Liens couldn’t shoot!  But that’s what happens when you go up against the Houston juggernaut!  What a great story.  The team is displaying the camaraderie of a college Cinderella (even though Jordan is telling us there is no Cinderella) team and it’s just fun to watch.  The Rockets could potentially get the #1 seed in the West!  20-0.  McGradles for MVP!?!??!?!

San Antonio Spurs, 75 points vs. the New Orleans Hornets

David West came back with a vengeance, dropping 29 and 10 on the heads of the reigning champs.  Give Manu the ball!  He only had 11 points on 5-10 shooting.

The Unpaid Intern On Location Of The Night:

Editor’s Note:  Sorry for delay in publishing this, but it’s karma.  The Unpaid Intern should not have waited so late in the season to go to an NBA game.

Friday, March 7, 2008, Madison Square Garden, NYC — There will never be a day when “I just got 10th row tickets to the Knicks game” will come as bad news.  In fact, it will always be great news–especially when the Knicks are hosting the Detroit Pistons.  Our seats were behind the basket, just about eye-level with the players.  Free and great. There were plenty of Pistons fans in attendance, although we can’t claim to have had any sort of faux home court advantage like the L.O.N. C.E.O. witnessed at the Clipper’s game.  After one of our Deeeee-troit Baaaaaasket-ball calls, one Knicks fan told us to go back to Detroit.  That’s fun.

The night started off with one bad and one good surprise.  The good was that newly acquired Piston Theo Ratliff was not only suited up, but starting.  The bad was that there was no sign of Rasheed Wallace. So unlike the L.O.N. C.E.O., we were not privy to Sheed’s infamous pre-game dance ritual–which would have been right by us.  The team still did some kind of dance-huddle, but it wasn’t the same.  As a big Rasheed fan, it was a pretty big disappointment for him to have the night off for what will probably be the only Piston’s game I’ll see in person this year.

The Pistons started out cold, perhaps still feeling whatever it was that led to that terrible game against Boston.  But soon enough the score was tied, then the Stones were up by 15 and the world seemed right.  The Knicks fought hard until the end though, and were within striking distance.  But when you’re sending Chauncey to the line at the end, you can pretty much take the W to the bank.

The Billups-Crawford match-up was fun to watch.  J-Creezy can ball, too bad he plays for a terrible team/organization right now.  Rip got tossed, like an idiot, for running his mouth.  If there’s one thing we’d like to see the Pistons do, it’s button those lips and just play basketball.  Detroit is a tough as nails, blue collar city, not a crybaby blabbermouth town.  Get it right.  Watching Eddy Curry play makes me wonder how many guys in the league don’t really enjoy basketball.  Sometimes it seems like Curry is only out there because he happens to be a giant and it’s a good way to make a living.  He looks sad and bored and like he’d rather be somewhere else.  Never a good look when you’re a cornerstone of the franchise.  And I think that if I were a Knicks fan, I would want to vomit every time I saw Renaldo Balkman.  Ugh.

Perhaps the best part of the night, for me as a Piston fan, was seeing the young guns out there.  The trio of Amir Johnson, Jason Maxiell and Rodney Stuckey looked solid.  They still need a few years, but there’s the young core of a possible future dynasty there.  It was the first time I’d really seen Stuckey play and it looks like he’s got “it” — that confidence and killer instinct, coupled with superb athletic ability.  Sometimes you see a rookie out there, looking timid and unsure (see Dorell Wright’s first three years).  Stuckey had none of that hesitation; I think he’s going to be a special player.  And that’s not to take anything away from Amir, who could grow into a possible Amare-style beast, and Maxiell, who has already shown that his grit and hustle transitions to the NBA game.

In famous person news, there were numerous NY Rangers seated in the front row near us, as well as fan-favorite and former Red Wing Brendan Shanahan.  Spike Lee was in attendance, as usual, and even got involved by standing up and shagging down a ball, talking some smack as he handed it back to the ref.  And Aaron Ross, rookie DB for the Super Bowl Champion Giants got an ovation and was mobbed for autographs by kids as he made his way down the aisle.

The Garden is such a great atmosphere, it’s too bad Isiah and James Dolan have basically ruined that team.

Pistons win in a game that was much closer than it should have been.  101-97.

Green-on-green crime:  Boston stomps Seattle 111-82… Philly will play anyone, anywhere, anytime.  Wednesday they knocked off the Pistons in the Palace… Tough Juice back in the house.  Caron Butler scores 19 and gets a win for Washington, over Cleveland, in his return to the lineup… Bruce Bowen suspended for Friday’s game, after hitting Chris Paul with his leg on Wednesday.  This ends the current longest consecutive games played streak at 500… Smush Parker, back in business after signing with the Clip Joint.  Maybe they read our Dickau rant!… LeBron James becomes only the third man to ever appear on Vogue, AND he’s moving in on Tom Brady’s woman!