L.O.N.

As seen on SLAMOnline:

Line Of The Night:

The TNT production truck for the Denver/Cleveland game.

As the 3rd quarter began in last night’s game, a miracle of miracles occurred — Reggie Miller’s mic was cut off!  It was short-lived, and the words of the Czar were also lost in the collateral damage, but it was a glorious time nonetheless.  Praise Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Jah, Pac and the Ruler Zig Zag Zig Allah.

Near Fat Lever Of The Night:

LeBron James — 22 points, 11 assists, 8 boards, 3 steals

But it was all about the D, son.  Word is that at halftime, Bron was walking around singing: “Give me a ‘Lo lockdown, a ‘Lo lockdown, gimme a ‘Lo lock down, you looooose”.  And that’s what happened.  Life was very difficult for Melo in the second half and the Cavs got a rare (for the Melo/Bron Era) win over the Nuggets.

Near Beast Of The Night:

Erick Dampier — 18 boards, 16 points, 3 blocks, 1 assist, 1 steal

Nice little stat line from Damp, but the ship be sinking in Dallas, as they lost to the Chi and fell to 2-6.  FREE GERALD GREEN!

Andris Biedrins — 19 boards, 17 points, 2 assists, 1 steal, 1 block

Biedrins has been the highlight of an otherwise bleak season for G-State.  They lost this one to the Pistons, but your boy is starting to look like a nice all-around player.  What they really need to do is go ahead and ship Al Harrington so they can add another legit guy to their rotation.

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

Hey Jason Maxiell — have some of this AZUBUIKE BACON!  EAT YOUR BREAKFAST, SON!  Courtesy of Head Chef Kelenna Azubuike.

NBA-Tinged Lyric Of The Night:

“‘Cause I was running game like Larry to a Bird who could score a lot of points while she dribbles on my balls ’cause she go hard for the green like Celtics”

That’s from 88-Keys’ “Ho’ Is Short For Honey” off his The Death Of Adam album.  It’s a solid album, but the theme/storyline he tried to go with does not add much, and probably detracts.  “Stay Up” feat. Kanye is the joint, though.

Matt Barnes, Rafter Alston and Steve Nash suspended for their roles in Wednesday night’s dust up.  Nash?  All he did was get abused twice by McGradles… Best ticket package around league?  Detroit’s 5-game “Fiverson Package”.  Get it?  Awesome… That was a garbage call/ejection on Kenyon.  Pure reputation.  Where’s the support Kenny and Chuck?  What did Kenyon do, exactly, on the last play?  Pure flop… OMG, if Will Bynum had completed that dunk on Turiaf…
Leandro Barbosa’s mother passed, and he will miss several games while he travels to Brazil.  Keep your head up, playa…

As seen on SLAMOnline.

Line Of The Night:

Tony Parker — 55 points, 10 assists, 7 boards

Get your shine on, get your shine on, all day long, Tony, get your shine on!  Possibly because he’s not a “pure” point and because he has two star teammates in Tim Duncan and Manu Ginobili, the French Pastry is left out of the “best point guard in the game” arguments, time after time after time.  But guess what — your boy does in fact play point guard, regardless of his pureness, he has won three chips, and now, with this double-nickel performance, joined a club which previously only had two members — Michael Jordan and Oscar Robertson.  Come on ya’ll, he’s in the conversation.  Just ask Randy Foye and Corey Brewer, two guys that will probably get a little sick to their stomach at even the sight of a croissant, in the future.

Honorable Mention Of The Night:

Amare Stoudemire — 49 points, 11 boards, 6 assists, 5 steals, 2 blocks

LeBron James — 41 points, 9 boards, 6 assists, 4 steals

Sorry guys.  It was looking good early, for one of you, then “Minnesota finds a million ways not to close out the Spurs” happened.  Double OT = double-nickel.

Worst Of The Night:

This is not a good sign for the Charlotte Larry Brown Era:

“Jared! Jared!” Brown yelled down the bench, looking for forward Jared Dudley.  “He’s in the game,” one player called back.

No further comment necessary.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

New Orleans, 79 points vs. the ATLiens

Did we mention this was in New Orleans?  That’s a nice road win, Atlanta.  Looks like Dem Georgia Boys did not get complacent after their playoff run-in with the Ceatles last season and are bringing the D this year.  They have yet to give up more than 90 points in a game, and are now undefeated at 3-0.  Could this be your Southeast Division title winners?

Thanks, But I’ll Keep My Job Of The Night:

Luke Ridnour — 20 points, 11 assists, 7 boards, 2 steals

Right after we called for his job, Ridnour shows us why it is in fact, his job, in a 112-104 OT win over Washington.  His P-N-C Ramon Sessions had a 22/8 night, as well, so maybe Washington needs to work on that perimeter defender?  Stopping the ball is usually a good idea.

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

During the 4th quarter of the Denver/G-State game, Andris Biedrins dribbled the ball near center court.  He found Captain Jack at the high post, then received the ball back on the ol’ give-and-go, guarded by Nene.  He somehow made a quick dash back into the Oracle’s kitchen, then BAAAAAM!!!!  “HAVE SOME OF THESE LATVIAN BACON CREPES, NENE!!!!!!  Do they have those in Brazil, playa?”

Nene made quick work of his meal, then kindly left a tip — the and-1 foul.

D-Wade was 2 blocks away from 5×5 glory… Kelenna Azubuike had a ridic block on a Dahntay Jones dunk attempt.  Dude never did like breakfast… MJ and Ahmad courtside together in the Garden?  We know somebody has a punch line for that…  How is it humanly possible, in a Mike D’Antoni offense, for a guy to score 24 points on 9-12 shooting in the 1st half of a game, and then take 0 shots in the second half?  Nate Robinson pulled it off, last night, somehow… Another terrible game for the Clip Joint.  They drop to 0-5 after succumbing to a late 22-0 run by the Lakers…