L.O.N.

As seen on SLAMOnline:

Line Of The Night:

Joe Johnson — 36 points, 3 boards, 1 assist

Johnson led the Hawks to yet another win over the C’s last night, making it 3 on the year.  Although it is worth noting Boston has been far from full strength for the last two of those.  Also, while Johnson had the most points, and the better overall game, J-Creezy made several key plays down the stretch.  Hopefully those two can continue to coexist peacefully, as they form a lethal clutch combo.

Worst Of The Night:

Your day yesterday, if you are a Milwaukee Bucks fan.

First you find out Michael Redd is out for the year with a 2nd ACL tear in as many years.  Damn.  Guess it’s Brandon Jennings or bust, on the offensive side of things, now?  And once you get done feeling bad for Redd, you cannot feel good about that $18 milli he’s owed next year.  Then, just before game time, Scott Skiles had to go to the hospital with an irregular heartbeat.  Guess he was worried a little about that offense, as well.

And Detroit, we see you.  Milwaukee stole your lowlight today, but you probably will not get away with another one.

Near Larry Bird Of The Night:

LeBron James — 37 points, 11 assists, 8 boards, 4 blocks, 2 steals

That’s two “nears” in a row for Bron-Bron, but this one has the G-State asterisk, of course.

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

If you have ever wondered exactly what sled dogs eat before the Iditarod, now you might be able to get your answer from none other than Udonis Haslem.  Last night Carlos “Iditarod” Boozer came down the lane on a fast break, throw a little pass fake to his right, then BOOM!  EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!  HAVE SOME ALASKAN HUSKY HOTCAKES!  AND WASH THAT DOWN WITH SOME MALAMUTE MUSH!  Watch out though, Mr. Haslem might be a little salty when you ask him about this topic.

NBA Not-So-Fit Of The Night:

Rasheed Wallace — Out for about a week with a foot injury.

Guess he wasn’t ready to play those big minutes, huh?  Geez, ‘Sheed, we shower you with some praise and then you do this to us.  With ‘Sheed and KG out, it’s now all about one man, and one many only:  BIG BAAAAAAAAAABY!!!!!

Twin Towers Of The Night:

Al Jefferson — 22 points, 15 boards, 2 assists, 1 steal, 1 block

Kevin Love — 20 points, 14 boards, 2 assists

For this game only — a loss to the Nuggets — these numbers really mean nothing.  But in the grander scheme of things, seems like these ‘Wolves have something nice going on down low (word to J-Lo).  And now there are rumors these guys cannot play together and one or both may be on the trading block?  Wow, that better just be a rumor.  These guys have barely even played together!  Give them a chance!  Unless there is something going on behind the scenes to which we are not privy, seems ridiculous that either of these guys names would be mentioned in those clandestine GM phone calls.

The Raptors lost to the hapless Pacers, but Andrea Bargnani with 17 boards?  That is encouraging… A.J. Price — GUNNER… Corey Maggette is still a FT beast in obscurity out in G-State.  Last night — 17-18 from the stripe… Randolph Morris doing the Tony Yayo/Tim Thomas from the Hawks’ bench is hilarious… Defend and rebound, defend protect the paint… And one more time for posterity’s sake — BIG BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABAYYYYYY!!!!!!!

As seen on SLAMOnline

Line Of The Night AKA Near Ice Cube Of The Night:

LeBron James — 41 points, 10 boards, 8 assists

And two mismatched shoes (1 retro Cav Orange, 1 retro Cav Blue).  As the Kobe v. LeBron debate rages on… guess we know one thing The King can do that the Mamba cannot — win in the Rose Garden!  Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  Kobe Defenders, stand up!

Ice Cube Of The Night:

Rajon Rondo — 22 points, 13 assists, 10 boards, 4 steals

Rooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnn-dooooo!

Near Beast Of The Night AKA Career-High Of The Night:

Andrew Bynum — 18 boards (career-high), 17 points, 3 blocks

He really should have grabbed 18 boards at some point before this, right?

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Milwaukee Bucks — 77 points vs. the Lakers

Michael Redd hears a pop in his knee after only 12 minutes and 0 points scored.  Brandon Jennings scores 10 points to lead all starters… and that’s more than the ENTIRE TEAM scored in the 1st quarter.  A wonderful recipe for contraction.  Not to mention the Lakers’ Bynum and Lamar Odom severely limited offensive rebound availability with their board work.

NBA Fit Of The Night:

‘Sheed Wallace — 29 points, 8 boards, 2 blocks, 1 steal

There have been lots of complaints about ‘Sheed’s conditioning so far this season.  He has been starting for K.G. (out to rest his knee) lately and bottomed out on Friday in a loss to Hawks in which he shot 5-15.  Now maybe he has turned the corner?  He led the C’s in scoring in what was far and away his best game in the Celtic green.  Is an “NBA Fit” ‘Sheed the silver-lining of K.G.’s injury?

Season Debut Of The Night:

Ian Mahinmi — 15 points, 9 boards, 1 block, 1 assist

The man, the myth, the legend.  Ian in the building.  Another diamond in the rough found and polished up by the Spurs, or just a 1 night Nyets-inspired fluke?  The Spurs can still use all the help they can get at their revolving door labeled “PF”.

We are trying to contain our excitement for J-Creezy’s impending introduction to the Playoffs, but really, it may be time to start the countdown… At 3-34, the proposed (by us, of course) Nyets’ signing of The Situation and Pauly D has to be approaching, as well…  THE RHINO!  Craig Smith — and the Clip Joint — are 1 game from a .500 record and maybe only a few games from the Blake Griffin Era.  On the come up… Come on L.O., 3 more points and you get in here with the Near Ice Cube!… DeShawn Stevenson warms up with “Agent Zero” written on his ankle tape.  Rumor has it David Stern immediately picked up a phone in his office, and all that was heard on the other end of the line was:  “It’s done”…

Back again like Dilated Peoples.  The L.O.N. C.E.O. had us under wraps for the ‘09 portion of the 2009-10 season, but he is ready to unleash us upon the world for 2010.  And it’s time to win.  We were hoping there would be less than 3 under .500 Eastern Conference Playoff-bound teams before we got started, but when life gives you lemons…

Line Of The Night:

Devin Brown — 30 points, 4 boards, 1 assist

Looks like Brown has shaken off any saltiness he may have felt after almost being traded last week AND being moved to the bench before last night’s game.  He stole the spotlight a little from the always entertaining Chris Paul vs. Deron Williams match-up, and helped the Hornets get a rare road win.

Contraction Club Of The Night:

Atlanta Hawks — 72 points vs. the Miami Heat

The ol’ South Beach Curse.  We have a feeling dem A-T-L boys might have been experiencing all Miami has to offer the night before this game, even if it was a Sunday.  With a bunch of Orange Bowl-bound Iowa fans in attendance, it is a shame this is the effort they saw since they do not have an in-state team of their own to see play on a regular basis.

Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:

JH:  Hello Mr. Kaman, my name is Juwan and I’ll be your server this evening.  Can I start you with something to drink?
CK:  No, thanks.  Just go ahead and get me some eggs, over-medium, some homefries and some turkey sausage.
JH:  You got it.  EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!!!!
Old waiters die hard.

But really, are vanilla power forwards (think Juwan Howard and P.J. Brown), the NBA’s answer to MLB’s ageless left-handed situational relief pitchers?… Yeaaaaah, I’m gonna do that… Deron Williams:  Welcome to the 3,000 assist club.  Only about 12,800 to go before you can grab the Jazz franchise record… Russell Westbrook and the Thunder got the best of Derrick Rose and his Bulls, in perhaps the young man’s version of CP3 vs. D-Will…