Line Of The Night — 01/23/2008
Line Of The Night:
Al Jefferson — 39 points, 15 boards, 2 steals, 1 assist
BOO-YA-KA. The T-Wolves win their 2nd straight, knocking off the Suns, and Phoenix is officially eliminated from championship contention.
Best quote of the night from a T-Wolves announcer: “And this is the type of impact Jefferson has been having all season on the team!” Really? And what type of impact is that? 7-34 type of impact? Awesome.
Fat Lever Of The Night:
Josh Smith — 22 points, 12 boards, 10 assists, 5 blocks, 3 steals
Nice for the fantasy team, but…
Beasts Of The Night:
Marcus Camby — 21 boards, 13 points, 4 blocks, 4 assists, 1 steal
…bad for the bottom line. Without Melo, the Nuggets still had enough for the visiting Hawks. Camby for MVP?
Chris Kaman — 21 boards, 20 points, 2 blocks, 2 assists, 2 steals
2-2-2-2-2. Whut. Ralph Lawler claims there is no way Kaman can be left off the All-Star squad, and we wouldn’t argue otherwise after this performance in a win vs. the Kings. We’re pretty sure 6 billion Chinese have a slightly different opinion, though, at least as far as the starter goes.
Near Triple-Double Of The Night:
LeBron James — 23 points, 8 boards, 8 assists, 2 steals, 1 block
If anyone out there can give a convincing argument as to why the Cavs cannot make the Finals, we’d like to hear it.
Marko Jaric — 15 points, 10 assists, 8 boards, 1 steal
So this has now been well established: If Marko plays against the Warriors and Suns of the L, where they don’t play D, and he doesn’t have to play D, he can put up some suuuuuuurous numbers.
Beard vs. Beard Of The Night:
Drew “Airhead” Gooden vs. DeShawn “I Have My Name Tattooed Across My Back” Stevenson
Airhead — 18 points, 10 boards, 1 assist
Stevenson — 7 points, 1 assist
Gooden won the individual battle, and the Cavs won the overall war, 121-85. That’s a molly-whopping. And to add insult to injury, Gooden’s beard is WAY longer than DeShawn’s — the two have a bet to see who can go the longest without shaving. If size mattered, Airhead would be the runaway champion.
Contraction Club Of The Night:
Illadelph 76ers, 78 points vs. Detroit Pistons
“points” can also be arranged as “piston”. Just saying.
The Mystique Is Gone Of The Night:
Toronto Raptors, 114, Boston Ceatles, 112.
Early this season it was breaking news when the PGA Tour took an L. Now it’s just another ho-hum loss in a long NBA regular season. It took an alien-like shooting performance from Toronto’s trio of Jose Calderon (8-10), Chris Bosh (8-11) and Anthony Parker (8-12) to get the job done, though. That’s what it takes to beat this squad. And Toronto is hoping Il Mago can throw up some more of these 20/7/7 nights.
Buy A Dog And Go To Church Of The Night:
Last night, the New Orleans found a way to do what few other teams have this season — lock up Brandon Roy. A lot of nights that wouldn’t be a problem, as usually somebody from the Blazers’ deep roster would pick up the slack. That somebody was nowhere to be found last night, and we have to blame Travis Outlaw. The statbook shows a decent shooting night, 5-11, so that makes it even more confusing as to why he just froze up from outside. He essentially refused to shoot J’s down the stretch, clogging up the Blazers’ offense. Now we know his weakness. Gotta be brave enough to fail, young fella.
6th Man Of The Night:
Tracy McGradles — 28 points, 5 assists, 4 boards
While Outlaw may not have had his T-Mac-esque J working, T-Mac DEFINITELY had his T-Mac-esque J working (except for when Kevin Durant gave his idol a little of THIS)! The Sonics were on fire throughout the game, and it took every last one of these points for the Rockets to grind out a 109-107 win. It was beautiful to watch McGradles just take things over down the stretch.
Practically no one is talking about the 28-13 Mavs. Slipping under the radar? A refusal to acknowledge these uniforms? Or the anticipation of another “only good during the regular season” campaign?… A message to Seattle’s announcers — stop calling them the “Supes”. Yes, we mean you, Kevin Calabro and Snapper Jones… Brandon Roy and Steve Blake ran a TEXTBOOK 2-on-1 fast break, without the ball touching the ground. Back-and-forth, back-and-forth. Beautiful…