Line Of The Night — 11/07/2007
Line Of The Night:
Sam Cassell — 35 points, 8 assists, 3 boards, 2 steals
Old man still got it. Maybe not for 82 games. Maybe not in back-to-backs. But one night? One game? He’ll put it on you. THE CLIPPERS JUGGERNAUT! 4-0! Headed into the Palace, where men are made.
Sam-I-Am got this opportunity due to recent Clippers’ starter Brevin Knight’s back injury. But perhaps more importantly, the fans were treated to the dynamic, exciting Travis Diener vs. Dan Dickau match-up! There hasn’t been this much floppy haired fun since the dog on Unhappilly Ever After!
Jason Kidd Of The Night:
LeBron James — 32 points, 15 boards, 13 assists, 3 steals, 2 blocks
Sorry LeBron, we don’t know what to say. You go for a triple-double, you hit a clutch three… Well, actually we do know what to say: Step up in the lane and stop that Deron Williams drive! What were you thinking?
Beast Of The Night:
Chris Kaman — 22 boards, 15 points, 3 assists, 2 blocks, 1 steal
Think he’s figured it out? Through 4 games he’s averaging 16.5 Rodmans. And he dropped this gem on L.O.N.nie winner, Sammie Cassell:
“”He’s older than dirt, but he gets it done. He can still shoot the basketball.”
Contraction Club Of The Night:
Charlotte Bobcats, 63 points in a 31-point loss to Philly.
To Philly? They are right there contending for worst team in the league status, and you get blown out? The Bob Johnsons get a slight pass since Raymond Felton missed the game with a knee injury, but still… awful. And shouldn’t Philly deal Andre Miller? What’s he doing on that team? FREE LOUIS WILLIAMS!!!
Miami Heat, 78 points in a 10-point loss to San Anton.
The Heat are disgusting, currently ranking dead last in the Official L.O.N. League Pass rankings. The Ricky Davis factor has already worn off, Dorell Wright is far from the future, and Shaq just fouls or gets fouled, and no one wants to see him at the charity stripe. To make matters worse, Riles is basically TRYING to get his team on this list every night, as he’s confessed to trying to keep the score low and the game close. Gross.
SNL Skit Of The Night:
With the Boston Three Party, we mean the PGA Tour, oops, actually the GAP Band, or is it the Ceatles? Whatever… with Dem Boyz In Green laying a complete molly-whopper on the Nuggets — 77-38 at the half — we started thinking back to a classic late 80s/early 90s running Saturday Night Live skit. Ya’ll remember. It was a few fat Chicagoans sitting around talking, discussing potential fantasy match-ups. Da Bears vs. an all-time, all-pro team… DA BEARS!!! Da Bears vs. Godzilla, Mothra and King Kong… DA BEARS!!! Then when Mike started his reign, they’d get absolutely befuddled when faced with the prospect of 10 Ditkas vs. Mike on the court… who could win?
Well it’s time to bring it back. Pats vs. Celtics. Belichick vs. Garnett. It’ll be awesome. Trust us. Hell, throw the Sawx in there too. Big Papi vs. Tom Brady in the Boston Marathon? Paul Peezy vs. Rosevelt Colvin in a heads No Limit Texas Hold ‘Em Tourney? Who can call it? Just make the royalty check out to L.O.N…. thanks.
This Week In The League Pass Rankings Of The Night:
For all the haters out there, questioning the Sonics being so high on the Official L.O.N. League Pass Rankings… maybe ya’ll were just confused. This isn’t a power ranking, it’s a pure “want to watch factor”. We took a flier on them based solely on Kevin Durant. Turns out another Kevin, Kevin Calabro, is helping keep them in the mix. He’s a top-notch play-by-play guy, and then you throw Snapper Jones in as the color guy? It’s a wrap. There is one problem though. We’re not sure how much more of Earl Watson we can watch. Never thought we’d say this, but… FREE LUKE RIDNOUR!!!
Oh yeah, and remember how Damien Wilkins had the ball on a key possession Tuesday night? Well, P.J. must have made an emphatic point in the lockerroom following that one. Wednesday it was all Durant, all the time, in crunch time. It didn’t work — he shot 3-17 and the Sonics lost — but it’s clear he’s the man, and he wants the ball. For now, at least, he also doesn’t mind contact. He goes to the line and knocks ‘em down. 10-10 last night!
NBA-Tinged Lyric Of The Night:
“She say she got a man, but he ain’t worried/But baby I’m a have to Rob him like Horry”, Lil’ Wayne, “Hello Brooklyn”
“I’m so flossy, no 6’s on Sprees”, Jay-Z, “Ignorant Shit”
Jay-Z. American Gangster. Has there ever been a movie/soundtrack combo this hot?
As Ignorant As Kobe Of The Night:
Joe Johnson on the current Hawks situation:
“It’s just frustration,” Johnson said. “I just thought, when I came here, we were going to add pieces. I get that they really want to develop these young guys. I’m all for it, as long as they keep working hard and doing what they are supposed to do. (Wednesday night) was the prime example. They’re going to double me. Everybody knows it. My teammates know it. They have just got to be ready when the ball comes their way.”
Dude… you’re kidding right? You know how you could’ve avoided the double-teams? BY STAYING WITH PHOENIX AND CONTENDING FOR A TITLE EVERY YEAR. You chose the money. Deal with it.
Eat Your Breakfast Of The Night:
Usually breakfast is served on the court, but in this case it was from behind a mic:
After rookie Joakim Noah made a remark that the Bulls were not in sync, coach Scott Skiles had this to say:
“If I had just played my first pro game, I’d probably keep my mouth shut, to be honest with you.”
BOOM SHAKA LAKA! CHICAGO GRITS IN YOUR MOUTH!
Shaqism Of The Night:
On his latest fashion statement, the rough looking beard he’s sporting:
“It’s my mountain-man look. Call me ‘The Big Rogue.’”
Josh Smith almost goes 5×5 again! This time only 1 dime and 1 theft short… Is Kyle Lowry R.O.Y. eligible? If so, watch out for this darkhorse campaign, once he inevitably becomes the starter in Memphis. Dude is nice… “Google Earth Nas, I got flats on other continents”…