Line Of The Night — 10/30/2007 — Opening Night Edition
First of all… Hey Kobe, remember Shaq? Remember how he’s been on a contender for the last 4 years? Dude is ridiculous… maybe he can go win a title in Europe or something, then we won’t have hear about this crap. Send him and Starbury to Italy as a special NBA envoy, and call it a day. Or maybe he’ll test positive for steroids and get kicked out the L. And yes, he’s currently banned from receiving any positive L.O.N.nies unless he drops 82 or more.
Line Of The Night:
LaMarcus Aldridge — 27 points, 3 boards, 2 blocks, 1 steal
Young fellas has offensive game for days. 3 rebounds though?
Near Fat Lever Of The Night:
Andrei Kirilenko — 9 points, 9 boards, 8 assists, 5 blocks, 1 steal
AK47 appears to be in good spirits… looks like he and Jerry Sloan have found a nice comfy place in the trust tree, or the cuddling corner, or something. 4 steals away from the ever-coveted 5×5 stat line — got the stat geeks going nuts. And Paul Wall.
Bold Prediction Of The Night:
The Chuckster proclaimed the Cavs won’t even make the Playoffs this… yep, the same Cavs that went to the Finals last year, and the same Cavs with some people’s best player in the world, LeBron James. Barkley didn’t give his full 8, but we figure he has to include these 5:
Toronto, Boston, Dirty Jerse, Detroit, Chicago.
So that leaves Cleveland, Miami, Washington and Orland in the next tier, with teams like New York, Atlanta, Charlotte and Indiana as super dark horses. We’re sticking with the King. LeBron will get his squad in the post-season… no backward steps for him.
Athletic Specimen Of The Night:
Travis Outlaw. He jumps so high, even on jump shots. He has frenetic energy. It didn’t count, but he had a nasty block on Darius Washington where he just one-arm-snatched the rock out of mid-air. And he was inches away from serving Tim Duncan a little tasty breakfast when Brent Barry knocked away the ball from behind..
Ring Ceremony Of The Night:
This is the Spurs so nothing exciting happened, of course. Their beautiful brand of basketball just doesn’t translate to ring ceremonies. Maybe Sheed should be handed the mic at any and all NBA award presentations. On the court, the Spurs already appeared to be in mid-season form. Their 106-97 victory over Portland sent just a bit of a different message than that sent during last year’s ring game, when Miami 66-108 to Chi-Whuuut.
NBA-Tinged Lyric Of The Night:
“Coupe is on Ma-nu, Ginobilis but the truck is on Kobes”, Fabolous, “I’m The Man”, From Nothin’ To Somethin’
Just because it’s been in our head all night, seeing Manu out there… and Kobe for that matter. By the way… Manu was going behind the back more than
Never Seen Before, Heard Before, The Uncut Raw Of The Night:
After an apparent Rockets turnover, the loose ball bounced towards the paint. Kwame “Stone Hands” Brown and Luke Walton fumbled it around, and managed to knock it into their own goal! Dude, that’s like a total microcosm for the Lakers situation as a whole, man. And it’s an easy two points for T-Mac!
FREE DARIUS WASHINGTON!!!!… Noreaga has a weird obsession with Yao Ming, but if you’ve ever heard Nore say “Yao Ming”, then you don’t question that obsession, you just embrace it… Inside The NBA replaying the highlights of the Kobe saga over the theme song from “As The World Turns”. Ha!… FISHER!!! BATTIER!!!! Not exactly L.O.N. staples…